30 Day Song Challenge: Day Four

Day Four: A song that makes you sad

           A few days before Thanksgiving 2002 my Aunt Nesie passed away. I have never and I hope to never feel as lost and as sad as I did the month before and months after her death.
           I love my mother and I love my sisters, but in high school and beyond, my aunt and I had a special friendship. At least one weekend a month I went to her house in the back 40 (ie. Smallette, Missouri) and I would do laundry, pet her one million cats, hang out with my Uncle Wayne and get caught up on family and entertainment gossip.

          When the three of us were little, my aunts became our 2nd parent, buying us clothes when we needed them and taking us places when we had events to go to. One time I especially remember was when my mom and Aunt Nesie came to visit me at Missouri Scholars Academy. As my aunt liked to tell it, they had called to say that they couldn't afford to make it to Columbia to visit me, but when she tried to tell me they weren't going to come to visit, she could hear in my voice how I was trying to be strong, but my 15 year-old self was sad that my family wasn't going to visit on Family Day. So, my aunt and mom got that money for gas, brought home-made sandwiches and we went to Peace park and ate our sandwiches, she said that she'd never seen me happier.

           I will not forget the day that my aunt set me straight about my prejudice against people who didn't go to college. She said, "You know that I didn't go to college and I worked in a factory until I was 40, you don't think that I'm inferior because I didn't get a degree from some school." And, the truth was I didn't, she's one of the handful of people who I can proudly say is the foundation of who I am.

           We didn't know how serious her colon cancer was until close to the end. She played it off as such, until one day we saw one of those dumb Cancer Center of America commerical and she pulled out all the information from the one in Texas and said, "Do you think that I should go here?" She was always thinking of others. During her last months she made me make a budget (because she knew I was horrible with money) and made sure that I had all the family pictures on disk and all the music I wanted off of her computer.

           It was during one of these days and I was downloading country songs and in her raspy voice (the cancer had spread everywhere, including her throat) she told me about the Martina McBride song. "I have been blessed with more than I deserve," she said. Looking around the back bedroom of her trailer I didn't see anything that would make her feel that way, but she pointed out in the hall to Wayne in the living room, the cats outside and to me, and continued, "I have the best family in the world." I went to the bathroom to cry. From her, I learned that worldly possessions are just that...worldly.

           My aunt had about 20 too many cats. My aunt couldn't make an omlette, but her egg scramble was too die for...even if the eggs, green peppers, cheese and sausage tried it's hardest to be an omlette. My aunt didn't like to have her picture taken. I own only one video of her, from my nieces kindergarten graduation. She loved the country and would sit on the porch where I house-sat and just look into the field watching the goats and dogs and chickens feeling the sun and the wind. My aunt learned to quilt from her father. She also learned her temper from her father; you didn't mess with the lady. My aunt lived life to the fullest, my aunt never let me get down on myself and how poor we were or about the fact that we came from a single parent home, she knew that we had everything we needed. I miss her. 

           I know that she sees all that Lila Jane is doing and is probably shocked I have a daughter at all--I wasn't really into boys or family when she knew me. She said that us three girls were her daughters and that she couldn't have wished for better daughters. 

           So, I guess this song, "Blessed" by Martina McBride,  makes me sad for a minute and then I remember all of the life and love that came from this strawberry blonde woman and I know that it is because of her and her outlook on life that I have been blessed with more than I deserve.


Easter with the Joseph sisters and Aunt Nesie in good 'ole Mansfield, MO, 1985.



Feel free to join in by commenting below (I really do love comments, on fb or here), or doing this challenge on your own blog.

The 30 Day Song Challenge

Day 01 – Your favorite song
Day 02 -- Your least favorite song

Day 03 -- A song that makes you happy
Day 04 – A song that makes you sad
Day 05 – A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06 – A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 07 – A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08 – A song that you know all the words to
Day 09 – A song that you can dance to
Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11 – A song from your favorite band
Day 12 – A song from a band you hate
Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15 – A song that describes you
Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate
Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19 – A song from your favorite album
Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh
Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument
Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play
Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29 – A song from your childhood
Day 30 – Your favorite song at this time last year