30 Days of Truth: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit

I found this meme here and here.

Eight: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit

This is so the opposite of last week's that I'm having a hard time getting my head around it.

I was teased a lot when I was a little kid. First, I was the first black kid to go to my school. I think that if my mother knew how hard this actually was my first 5 years of school, we would have moved somewhere else. On top of that I wore leg-braces (braces I refused to wear, after a certain point, by the way, so I still am a little bow-legged and pigeon-toed...trust a life time of this is better than the years more of teasing I would have had to face).

I was teased so much and discriminated against, even in high school and college, so much that it took me a long time to accept my otherness. I mean black kids can be just as cruel to other black kids when they see them as not being truly 'black' (whatever that means).

There are people that weren't allowed to date me, there are people who tried to turn me into someone I am not, there are people who tried to steal my joy and my peace and my happiness. The thing is that over the years I forgotten the names, or never bothered to know the names of some of the people who made my life hard and, today, I'm not sure I'd even recognize them in a crowd. I am hopeful that some of the bitterness and anger they were feeling has been assuaged and that's about all the thoughts they get from me.

I am lucky that I came from a loving, Christ-filled home, so from day one I could respectfully turn the other cheek and I could genuinely forgive and forget. My family taught me to love myself way before I knew in my heart how to do so.

No one can make you feel something about yourself that you refuse to accept and the good Lord knows that, as one of his chosen people I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14), so there really isn't an answer to this one, now is there!

A Challenge for February

A few weeks ago I asked to review the book One Month to Love: 30 Days to Grow and Deepen Your Closest Relationships. I figured February would be a great month to work on becoming closer to my family and other loved ones that are meaningful and essential to my life and I can tell you this isn't something I can do on my own.

I was a little leery of the book, thinking that it would be a little hokey or, like those diet books that guarantee results, a little too big on the hype and too focused at the results at the end of a certain amount of days. I am glad that it is not. I am glad that it seems approachable and contradicts those books that want to be quick fixes.

The book is divided up into 4 week segments:

•  The Art of Being Free 
•  The Art of Acting Intentionally 
•  The Art of Risking Awkwardness 
•  The Art of Letting Go

The authors of the book want you to approach the book as a challenge.

"Just read a chapter each day....At the end of each chapter you'll find the Lasting Love Relationship Challenge, which is designed to help you take the insights from that day and apply them to your key relationships."

They even have a website where you can log on and monitor your own progress. I look forward to delving into this easy to understand and purposeful book as I grow deeper into my relationships with those that matter the most.

65 Books in a Year: Book #2 Twice A Bride

I got this to review from Blogging for Books.

This book is the fourth and final book in a series centered around the Sinclair sisters of Cripple Creek, Colorado.

From reading this book, I suppose the other three books are about:

• They are all married although one got left at the alter.
• They moved to Cripple Creek because their father made them. He moved to Paris.
• Two have children; one really wants a child.
• Miss Hattie takes care of them.
• I think one may have gotten sick.

And, although it was pretty easy to catch on I really disliked the fact that I didn't know going in that this was the 4th a series, as there were still some parts that kept me hanging and annoyed. I appreciate that it is not about a Sinclair sister at all, but about the sister of the pastor's wife (the pastor's wife being one of the sisters), although I think bits of her story are in one of the other books. I suppose we get enough through flashbacks...maybe.

Mona Hodgson is an excellent writer at setting the scene and in terms of creating great characters who trust in God as they head out West, I'll gladly compare her to Janette Oke. Hodgson's characters are likeable and real. I especially like Trenton Van der Veer. His dislike of going to church is truly believable and transcends time. I love that he is a real man with real feelings and Hodgson's let's us know that while he may have a stutter he appreciates women, gets confused by women, and, is a little lost, because of a woman. The scene in the church parlor is just lovely. There are also many other scenes that Hodgson renders so completely that I felt like I was there and, well, I wanted to be.

Pick up this book is you want a romance with a true look at what it means to be a Christian and to trust in the Lord at all times. Pick up this book if you like a good historical romance, I promise you will not be disappointed.

The more I write about this book, the more I realize that I need to give it 4-stars, not my original 3-stars...I think those were based soully on the fact that I wasn't prepared to read the fourth book in a series and it made me a little perturbed. It would seem this book can stand alone pretty well. I am little sad that I don't feel the need to read the other three books, as I feel I've received enough of their stories.

55 Books in a Year: Book #11 For Men Only: A Straightforward Map to the Inner Lives of Women

I'd like to premise this book review by first saying this book, For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn isn't quite as cheesy as I thought it was going to be, although there are parts that are so obnoxiously cheesetastic that my husband and I laughed a little at the absurdity.

I was reading an article the other day and it said that married people don't talk enough about the wonderfulness that is marriage. And, I thought to myself that I totally fall into that category my husband can make me angry as hell (frankly, I'm angry with him right now...and, he's in the other room playing the guitar...probably, um, angry at me too!), but I love him, I also like him and I like him to know all of that. I do think that marriage is work, though, and I think that those who don't make it look like work are working at that, but it doesn't mean the work can't be fun!

The Story
I wanted us to have something for Valentine's Day that we both could benefit from...don't get me wrong I wanted flowers and dinner too, but I wanted our presents to have meaning. I remembered a girl from work reading these books with her fiance and thought they would be a good idea for us.

Some plusses

• If your husband is like mine...you can still read this book all the way and he can use the Quick Start Guide which is included in the book and has 6 key components (Reassurance, Emotions, Security, Listening, Sex and Beauty) and where to find them throughout the book.
• This book talks about the fact that the biggest problem with marriage is communication and then it shares ideas about how to fix this. I like that those ideas aren't incredibly secular, nor are they dirty.
• If you buy the two books together (For Couples Only) they also come with this handy-dandy guide, which includes "12 Tips to Get Great Results from For Couples Only" my favorite being the one where you switch books (which is what we did, if you're wondering why I read this book clearly labeled for men) and answer the questions and mark it up et cetera and then you get to read your book with your partners comments.
• It works for either marrieds or seriously thinking about getting marrieds.

Some not so plusses

• I'm just going to say this and hope that no one gets offended, because it is steeped in good Christian living, it can be a bit old-fashioned...ok, it can be a lot old fashioned. For instance, Chapter 7 is titled The Girl in the Mirror and is sub-titled "What the little girl inside your woman is dying to hear from you--and how to guard your answer well." What does she want to hear? That her spouse finds her 'beautiful' and that her husband 'only has eyes for her'. Barf. And, while the chapter does end with some wonderful advice about the words 'fine' and 'no'...all I could keep thinking was I am not a pet.
• I hear the For Women Only book is hokier...I wouldn't know because, well, my husband hasn't finished it yet!

I really liked reading this book and marking it up. I liked learning what I feel makes a relationship and what I think makes it work and I like that my husband not gets to see what I think...that's so much easier than trying to talk about feelings. I'm not sure I'll feel the same way reading the next book with marks that aren't mine, but I will work at making that work. I wouldn't have it any other way.