Friday, January 18, 2013

Mr. Bennet's Parenting Skills, or lack thereof

So, if you follow Jane Austen on Facebook (and, who doesn't!?) you'll know that they're doing a celebration of Pride and Prejudice. Yesterday's poignant and highly debatable question:




At first I had a heart felt, of course, he is...he tells Elizabeth to follow her heart and not to care about what other people think concerning Mr. Darcy. Immediately after I thought this I remember three extremely important points 1] he doesn't do this for his other daughters and is as concerned with marrying them off into nice homes as his wife is 2] he really doesn't solve any of his daughters problems, seriously he's more of a 'close the barn door after they horses get out' kind of guy and 3] he passively let's his wife make horrible decisions; that's because he doesn't understand what it means to raise daughters and it would seem that he doesn't really want to take the time.

he doesn't do this for his other daughters and is as concerned with marrying them off into nice homes as his wife
  • he seems to think that his other daughters are too insipid 
  • he seems to have lost all hope with ever having a true relationship with them
  • he seems to have pick Elizabeth as the favorite because she is the opposite of her mother...as in she has brains and real beauty
he really doesn't solve any of his daughters problems, seriously he's more of a 'close the barn door after they horses get out' kind of guy
  • he doesn't seem to take his family and his responsibilities to them seriously
  • he runs away from problems...literally he retreats from them by walking about the countryside or by holing up in his library
  • one word: Lydia
  • oh, and other word: Kitty
  • he knows Mary is too smart, but doesn't help her
  • he knows that Jane is fairing well on her own
he passively let's his wife make horrible decisions; that's because he doesn't understand what it means to raise daughters and it would seem that he doesn't really want to take the time
  • he would rather be amused by the outcomes than to help
  • he doesn't seem to take his role as father seriously
  • he'd rather entertain and be entertaining
  • he doesn't love his wife and does nothing about that
  • when he sees the traits his wife possesses in his daughters he doesn't try to instill in his daughters 'respect, esteem or confidence'
Conclusion: if you are Elizabeth Bennet you might think your father is top-notch, even if he is flawed, to everyone else Mr. Bennet may be the first ever fictional 'absentee father'. Is this the kind of father role model Jane Austen wanted us to see, or is his a tale of caution?

Anyway, sorry this is all sorts of bullet-pointed...I'm sure it will make someone a great start to an essay anyway!

What do you think about Mr. Bennet?

2 comments:

  1. I think Mr Bennet is a father of his time. It's easy for us to criticise him based on today's standards, when back then it was rather rare for a father to be very involved in his children. He has girls and "all" he has to do is get them married to a good person. He does favour Lizzie because she is very much like him and he is affectionate with Jane. Mary is Mary is Mary and I think he thinks the other two are beyond help - well, mostly Lydia.

    I have to disagree about him not loving his wife; I think he loves her very much, but simply can't stand her (and who can blame him). Considering what a fool the woman is, I understand his reluctance to have very much to do with her - and she's always around the children, so he sneaks off to do other things.

    As for not taking his responsibilities to his family seriously, I disagree because in those days his responsibilites were to make sure they had a roof over their heads and food on the table, but also to make sure his daughters were married off to a good home. And at the age the girls are, they are pretty much considered women and all they ever do is sit around and wait to be married off to someone decent.

    I don't think Mr Bennet is the best of fathers, but I also think it's unfair to judge him without taking into account what society was like at the time.

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    1. In some respects he is a father of his time, and I wonder what Austen wanted us to see in him. In searching for quotes to get a better idea of him in the novel and I found this:

      "Had Elizabeth's opinion been all drawn from her own family, she could not have formed a very pleasing opinion of conjugal felicity or domestic comfort. Her father, captivated by youth and beauty, and that appearance of good humour which youth and beauty generally give, had married a woman whose weak understanding and illiberal mind had very early in their marriage put and end to all real affection for her. Respect, esteem, and confidence had vanished for ever; and all his views of domestic happiness were overthrown. But Mr. Bennet was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly of their vice. He was fond of the country and of books; and from these tastes had arisen his principal enjoyments. To his wife he was very little otherwise indebted, than as her ignorance and folly had contributed to his amusement. This is not the sort of happiness which a man would in general wish to owe to his wife; but where other powers of entertainment are wanting, the true philosopher will derive benefit from such as are given. "

      And, from there I went on a hunt...I don't think he's the great father that I thought he was, however, there are layers there and those make him seem real. I guess I'm just seeing him in a different light than I did. I must read the book again!

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