Three: Something You Have to Forgive Yourself For
OK, so if you'll recall from Day #2...um, I'm pretty self-aware, so I know pretty much immediately what I have to forgive myself for and then I do it. Sometimes that means apologizing to someone before truly forgiving myself, but once I know I've done something wrong or something someone perceives as wrong I go about fixing it and/or not letting it weigh me down.
The hardest time I've ever had doing this was when my aunt passed away. Everybody wanted me to go down and see her before the holidays and I did every weekend and the last week of her life when she was most frail and sick I did three days. I wish I would have more. I wish I wouldn't have said that I'd see her over the weekend. But, I can find peace about that, especially since I know she is no longer suffering and in pain and I know that I will see her again and I know that she is always in my heart and has made me a better person and why would I dwell on anything else, but these facts.
And, although this was written several years after her death, I find that Susan St. James's approach to her son's death and this subsequent post A Lesson in Loss, has really helped me find peace this past month.
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