And, then I had time to think about being pregnant with a girl. I spent the summer wondering how I was going to nurture a daughter who would be girlie (mayhaps a little girlie than I) while still being a strong, independent woman (who roared...if you will). I want my daughter to be perfect and positive and pretty without all the negative aspects of these concepts. And, I know there are many, I mean I was a cheerleader, I've watched "Mean Girls" I know things...oh boy do I.
I saw this book Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie Girl Culture on display at Barnes and Noble while shopping with my friend Jenn and we both knew (having expressed my concerns to anyone who would listen Jenn definitely knew) that Peggy Orenstein would have the answer to my burning question: How can I have a daughter that's independent, with a positive self-image with Miley Cyrus and the Olsen twins as role models?
You see, I love that my daughter is a princess who loves pretty, shiny things. Shhh, don't tell anyone as it goes against my Bitch magazine foundation, I love dressing her in pink and ruffles and frills--the irony is not lost on me. I love that my friend Liz spent two Saturdays painting a castle on her bedroom wall. And, I still love, even after reading all about Disney in The Story of Stuff (more on that officially tomorrow) and in part of this book, that she is a Disney princess, I mean come on Princess Tiana is brown and Mulan is Asian and they're all strong-willed and feminine and FEMINIST.
I'm hoping that after reading this book Peggy Orenstein and I are still the best friends I know that we would be if we lived in the same state and had time to have a cup of coffee.
Below you will find links to three of my favorite not so feminist (unless you really think about it, I mean really) songs...one is a remake by Ani DiFranco made for the soundtrack of "My Bestfriends' Wedding". Enjoy.
Femininity from "Summer Magic"
Spineless Alanis Morissette
Wishing and Hoping Ani DiFranco
What a great post! I don't have a kid yet but I've often had these same thoughts. How do you raise a wonderfully independent awesome feminist daughter while still allowing her to have her own voice? Especially if that voice is crying out for all things princessy and maybe going against your own ideals? Ahhhh, so much to think about.
ReplyDeletethanks! :)
ReplyDeletei agree on all accounts and i don't even know what that will be like when she gets older because girl self-esteem is so fragile at times and reading this book, i can see why. it's a really great book so far and worth the time! :)