50 Books in a Year Book #2: Charlotte Temple

All the morality of Jane Austen without any of the fun, Fantine without all the wonderful singing. Vanity Fair lite...triple ugh. Dear Reader, I've decided I loathe being talked to directly by the narrator.

I'd like to write more, but you see, I'd start talking about this book out of context of its time period and I'd be bad-mouthing things about it that weren't really in its control...like the plot, the lack of character development and other things that make books worth reading. I'm glad it's the first successful American novel, blah, blah, blah. I'm not sorry that I read it, blah, blah, blah...I'd recommend it to no one. I mean unless your into seduction novels, full of crap whose sole purpose is to make girls afraid of their feelings, of living, of leaving their parents homes and going out on their own...

See, I've gotta stop.

50 Books in a Year Book #1: The Sun Also Rises

The first time I read this book I was a senior in high school. It didn't give me a lust for Spain, Paris or bullfights, but it did give me this itch to travel and explore the American Dream. This year I'm teaching this book in a separate unit with some Harlem Renaissance thrown in for good measure. I look forward to talking about it as a part of Modernist literature and as another aspect of the American Dream, our disillusionment, or the death of the dream as it were.

The second and third times I read it, I focused mostly on character development with emphasis on Lady Brett Ashley. I'm a sucker for guys like Jake Barnes (more about that later), truly he's the reason I love this novel, but he wouldn't be the totally flawed, screwed-up, believable man he is without Lady Brett Ashley.

You see, I think she's a pretty amazing look at the modern woman. I may not want to emulate her 100%, but there are aspects of her character that, like Wonder Woman and Laura Holt, are part of mine.

The traits I like are simple:

1] She does what she wants Drinking, yes please. Smoking, okie doke. A bullfighter, a count, Cohn, sign her up. During my first read I thought what my students always think about her (you know that she's a ho), but she really isn't. If she was a man doing what she's doing nobody would care. It would seem a lot of people can't get past this to realize that she is just coping with her unhappiness and it is just part of the drinking and the other stuff that they are all doing.

2] She is independent and what confines her is in her head. This is true of all women. Heck, this is true of all  people. In the 1920s I think this was just becoming the normal view of things.

3] She loves and wants to be loved Brett loves Jake. Jake loves her. Their lives are complicated. This is pretty real stuff.

4] She can run with the best of them She's pretty darned honest about who she is and what she does. Sometimes strangely so...she's not going to let anyone or anything get past her. Sure, she doesn't really have any dreams or goals, but none of them do really, and I'd pick her over Daisy Buchanan any day (honestly, can you read both novels without comparing the two).

This time around I read it as a person past her 20s enough that I can remember them fondly with only a tiny hint of nostalgia.

There's a review of the movie adaptation on IMDB, and while I don't recommend watching the movie if you love this book, it is only a shadow of the book, even if it does have some great name actors and in that respect reminds me of the movie for The Fountainhead, I do love this review for the following:

the 'Lost Generation' Hemingway wrote of were disillusioned young Americans, who, shattered by the horror and brutality of a meaningless 'Great War', lost their innocence, and became a 'live fast, die young' crowd of expatriates, settling in Paris. These were men and women in their twenties and thirties...

As a person now in my late thirties I understand the feelings of these characters, and while I've never been to war, I understand what it means to be lost...in some ways we are all at one time or another lost. In this novel we see Hemingway's understanding of that. We see, that although he must not have felt this hope himself, he wants us to see that we don't always live in this lost moment in our lives. He also wants us to see that this hedonistic time helps mold and shape us. It is one of the many pillars that hold up our foundation. Yes, foundation. I'd even go so far as to say that it's part of that stereotypical American journey.

I can't wait to read this book again.

New Years Resolutions...er...

I think of New Year's Resolutions in the same way that I think of Book Challenges. You know I do them to make myself try harder, but don't get too messed up if I don't meet them. I need something to help me focus this year. I find that when I'm feeling a wee bit lost it's great to put things in perspective by creating a list or two or five, and deep down isn't that what resolutions are...a great delicious list that drives you and pushes you to be the best you. all. year. long.

And, then I found this GREAT blog link...Making Goals or Resolutions 2014

Let's break it down...

IGNORE EVERYONE EXCEPT THE STUDENTS I love teaching. I think it's my most favorite thing to do, it's a hobby, it's a pasttime, it's my career...when I begin to listen to other people it becomes my life. I don't like that. My life is what I get to do because I teach. I get to hang out with my kid. I get to hang out with my friends. I get to watch stupid movies with my husband. I'm going to make sure that I do more of that by ignoring everyone else. 

DO WHAT I WANT I read a lot and I think a lot and I do a lot...I do more for other people than I do myself, the favor is not returned. So, doing what I want means focusing on the me in the classroom. I know what my teaching philosophy is, I know what I want to accomplish with my students and I know what I want I'm gonna do it.

HANG OUT WITH MY KID MORE I hear that there are mothers out there who hang out with their kids in the park, at the movies, shopping and eating...and sure the kiddo and I do all of these things in spades, but honestly we could do more. I think this means limiting my computer time to...actually, I don't know to, definitely in the mornings, when she's asleep, late at night, er, watching less TV, talking more, playing games more...maybe even going outside.

SERIOUSLY WHO HAS THIS MANY THINGS THEY NEED TO HAVE GOALS ABOUT...ER... Find something that I can do that will get me more in shape and a wee bit healthier. No friends this does not mean I want to go to the gym with you, get a membership at the Civic Center or eat Paleo (Matt, I have seen your pizza!...although that bread was pretty darned tasty). It just means that I need to have a wee bit of self-control and a little bit more movement. Of course, I'm typing this as I'm watching my own "Chuck" marathon, surrounded by all my cats. To my credit, the wind chill is like 40 million below so it isn't like I'm running anywhere or doing anything right now.

CAN IT BE A PLACE I'VE ALREADY VISITED? Ok, so now we're at the nitty gritty. I also have a hard time with resolutions because I pretty much go where I want, do what I want and feel pretty resolved most of the time, like seriously 95% of the time, it'd be 98% if I could just find a way to like being a responsible adult. I don't, so I don't do it and I don't feel guilty about my lack of [fill in the blank]. Oh, so back to filling this one in...er...um, I'd really like to go to Prince Edward Island, I've wanted to go there since I watched (yes, watched not read) Anne of Green Gables, but alas, I always end up going somewhere else.

I EAT ALL THE FOODS Except for foods I don't want to eat...

I'D LIKE TO PLAY THE PIANO, ACTUALLY SPEAK A FOREIGN LANGUAGE... Um, for real...maybe I'll make time to do one or both of these things this year.

SODA Dear Soft Drinks, You are so bad for me...I love you Mtn. Dew and while I've had only about 6 since May, I'd like to get rid of all soda...yes, I think this would be a good idea.

TAKE MORE BATHS I miss them. I used to take baths all of the time. I love them.

ANY ONE OF THOSE FIRST FIVE would be just awesome...really.

Gee willikers! I can now see why I don't do this resolution thing...that was wayyyyy hard!

What about you? What are your new year goals?

"Felicity" #2-Top 10 Episodes

Episode synopsis from TV.com

Season 4

Spin the Bottle
Ben questions Felicity's relationship with Noel and confidently predicts that she will soon try to win back Ben. Felicity and Noel decide to get an apartment together. Sean gets very excited about Julie's impending visit, and makes a lot of plans. He gives Ben the impression that Julie came to town specifically to see Sean. Ben learns that Julie is actually in town for an audition, and warns her of Sean's intentions. Sean is crushed to realize that Julie still doesn't have feelings for him. Julie makes a move on Ben. Felicity insists that she has no problem with this, while Sean is outraged. Felicity accuses Ben of using Julie to make her jealous. She tries to "protect" Julie by agreeing to a double date. Ben upsets Felicity at the restaurant by mentioning the brief time they lived together and the girl who used their bathtub. He laughs about the fact that Felicity was always worried that he would cheat, and ended up cheating on him. Sean runs into a devastated Meghan at a bar. He convinces her to join him at a concert. They return to the loft to find their friends drinking while listening to Julie sing. Meghan convinces everyone to play "spin the bottle." Felicity seethes when Ben and Julie share a long kiss. Noel runs out. Sean apologizes to Meghan and asks for forgiveness, but she doesn't want to give him another chance. Noel tells Felicity that she will never get over Ben. He dumps her and prepares to move into the new apartment alone.
Favorite Quote

Noel: The thing is, I've always wanted to live somewhere with you. Ever since I met you. But I realize tonight that it's not gonna happen.
Felicity: What do you mean?
Noel: It's OK. I guess, you know, 'cause it's... because it's, you know, just a fact. But I'll never inhabit you the way that Ben does.
Felicity: Noel. That is not true.
Noel: Whatever he did... to make you break up with him... wasn't enough. You will never be over Ben.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
True love, awkward kissing game, Benalicious

A Perfect Match
Felicity is confused when Ben begins dropping by her apartment frequently. However, he is not ready to get back together. Mrs. Covington is a match for her husband, but he refuses to let her donate part of her liver. Mr. Covington urges Ben to consider forgiving Felicity, as he feels that love is the only thing that really matters. Felicity plans to fly home for Christmas vacation. Sean finds a client for Noel's graphics firm, and suggests that they form a partnership. Sean throws a fit and blows the deal when the client rejects one small aspect of their presentation. Javier and Rita join a video dating service. They try to pick each other's dates, with disastrous results.
Favorite Quote

Ben: I thought you'd still be here.
Felicity: My flight was delayed.
Ben: You asked me last night why I stopped by. It's because I miss you.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
Airport kissing, yearning, I love a good romance

Season 3
The Break-Up Kit
Felicity agrees to give Ben some space to sort out his feelings. Avery convinces him to come to her cabin and hang out with her friends. Avery kisses Ben. Meghan shares his whereabouts with Felicity. She later warns Ben not to hurt Felicity because she loves her "like she was my weird, spastic little baby sister." Noel tries to console Felicity, but she fears that she gave up on Ben too easily. She determines that she must go to Southampton to talk with him. Felicity makes it clear that she loves Ben and wants to work through their problems together, but he remains confused. Ben realizes that Avery doesn't really understand him after she offers sympathy over a hard-earned B-minus, when he had actually been proud of the grade. He seeks out Felicity and apologizes, just as Noel was trying to make a move on her. Sean belittles Meghan for holding a seance. She pretends to contact his dead grandmother. He finds this insulting and tries to get revenge, but Meghan stays one step ahead of him. Molly returns from England. She accidentally injures Elena's eyes during a facial, leaving her temporarily blinded. A young man named DeForrest sympathizes with Elena and offers to take notes for her. She agrees to a date with him, then regains her sight and discovers that he is quite large. Although Elena is hesitant to go out with him, they end up having a good time.
Favorite Quote

Meghan: When Felicity and I first met we were not friends, we were roommates. And I didn't even like her. I thought she was just some loser, prissy, navel-gazing, self-centered, whiny, overly-introspective little freak.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
Sean and Meghan banter, all sorts of Meghan focus, I can't get enough of Ben and Felicity

Season 2
Final Answer
Felicity and Ben try to avoid one another until the end of finals, but cannot keep their hands off each other. They plan to spend the summer together in Palo Alto, where Ben has taken a construction job to pay for his tuition. Felicity's art history professor mentions the possibility of an internship at a museum, provided that she performs well on the final. Ben rents a hotel room to unwind after completing his finals. Felicity joins him, although she has yet to take her art history exam. They lose track of time while making out naked, and Felicity misses her final. Ben secretly tracks down the professor and takes responsibility for Felicity's absence. Professor Morton agrees to give Felicity one day to complete a take-home essay. Ben helps her complete the paper overnight; she gets an A and is offered the internship. Julie agrees to a date with Sean, who begins obsessing over every detail. Ruby reveals that Wade has asked her to marry him, and plans to accept for the good of her child. Noel asks her to stay, expressing a willingness to commit to her. Sean, Richard and Ruby catch Julie and Noel making out. Sean is heartbroken, but winds up sharing a kiss with Meghan. Noel tries to explain that he was under the influence of Meghan's "smart cookies." Ruby is not angry with Noel, but feels that she is placing unreasonable demands on him. She decides to move back into her parents' house. Tracy announces that he wants to sleep with Elena after all. Meghan warns Elena of the dangers of coming between Tracy and his spirituality. Elena pushes Tracy away, although he initially has trouble understanding her decision.
Favorite Quote

Meghan: (to Sean and Richard) You guys are like two creepy pornographers...
Sean: Oh, come on!
Meghan: Let me finish. That I used to date.
 

Meghan (to Elena): Let me explain something to you. You sleep with a religious virgin, it's like he's breaking up with God to date you. And let me tell you, from personal experience. You do not want to be the Yoko in a man's relationship with the Lord.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
I wish I knew a guy that put his neck on the line for me, I love a good hotel room, what Elena has feelings? who knew?

The Aretha Theory
Greg dumps Felicity because she is still hung up on Ben. Felicity convinces Meghan to take Julie, Elena and her out to a club to distract them from their problems with men. They all have a great time. Javier plans to propose to Samuel, and enlists Ben's help in picking out an engagement ring. Javier brings Ben to the club and forces Felicity and him to talk things over. Meghan interrupts the conversation and takes Felicity to a friend's market.
Favorite Quote

Ben: You know what that is?
Felicity: Yeah. It's a film canister.
Ben: No. It's a time machine.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
I love it when a boy realize that he has erred, "Ice Cream", staying up all night with a boy

Great Expectations (1)
Felicity's father accompanies her back to New York, where he is scheduled to work with the university. She grows tired of his constant intrusions, and panics when he announces that he may take a full-time job as a professor of surgery. Dr. Porter sends Felicity reeling with the news that he and her mother are separated. Ben and Felicity begin working the same shifts at Dean & DeLuca. Ben tells Sean that he was wrong to take his advice about not getting into a relationship with Felicity. Depressed after the university cuts the swim program, Ben convinces her to join him in blowing off some steam. They buy beer with his fake I.D. and break into the campus pool. They get caught by campus security and face expulsion. Julie rejects Erik's advances. However, he assures her that he truly cares about her music. She begins recording her demo, but learns from a technician that Erik has a reputation for preying on young singers. Ben advises Sean to tell Julie how he feels about her. Sean cannot work up the nerve to do this, but vows that he will get to it eventually. Ruby tries to help Noel improve his poor public speaking skills after he becomes a teaching assistant. However, she takes offense when he singles her out in class.
Favorite Quote

Oh frick the whole scene at the swimming pool

Why I love it in three words or phrases
I have that guy friend ugh, Sean with Julie is super frustrated, Ruby and Noel...ugh

Sophomoric
Felicity returns to school to discover that one of the dorms has been shut down. Due to the lack of rooms, she must share resident advisor duties. Much to her horror, her roommate and co-resident advisor turns out to be Meghan. Elena and Noel decide to share an apartment. Felicity deals with the consequences of her decision to drive across the country with Ben. Although Ben spent much of the summer away in Mexico, he and Felicity are now a couple. Still extremely bitter, Noel and Julie lash out at them. Julie, also a victim of the housing shortage, moves into the loft with Sean and Ben. Ben assures Felicity that he is completely over Julie. Sean insists that Ben isn't ready for a relationship with Felicity, and continually pressures him to break up with her. Ben listens to one of Felicity's tapes to Sally. He is disconcerted to hear Felicity say that she might be in love with him.
Favorite Quote

Felicity: We're roommates again?
Meghan: That was kind of my reaction, except angrier and louder, and in between "we're" and "roommates," I added a word.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
so glad Felicity chose Ben, anticipation is a 5-letter word, Bennnnnnnnn!

Season 1
Felicity Was Here
Felicity concludes that it would be wrong to join Ben on the road trip, as she does not want to betray Julie. Noel offers her a ticket to Berlin, but she needs time to think it over. After Ben kisses her, she runs out in a panic and immediately accepts Noel's offer. Julie witnesses Felicity and Ben's flirtation. Elena sleeps with Dr. McGrath. She sneaks a peek at her exam and discovers that she didn't do very well, but after the night, the professor gives her an A.
Favorite Quote

Felicity: I can't be having this conversation, because I am the devil.
Ben: You keep saying you're the devil. I'll tell you what: you are not the devil.
Felicity: What if I am? Then what?
Ben: Then I'd still want you to come with me.
Felicity: You would not!
Ben: Yes I would.
Felicity: First of all, you would not want me to go with you if I were the devil. And secondly, it's not just us. There are other people involved.
Ben: Yeah, but I like you. I can't help it.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
"Carmen's Habanera" is pretty sexy, who knew?, road-trips with boys are AWESOME!, Bennnnnnn!

Hot Objects
The dorm plans a party. Meghan informs Felicity that something is obviously going on between Julie & Ben. Felicity sees the two together at the party, and confronts Julie. Felicity meets floor mate Elena Tyler. A disc jockey accidentally plays one of Felicity's tapes to her friend Sally. Everyone hears a passage in which she talks about sex. A computer error forces Ben to take a drama class.
Favorite Quote

Felicity: Sally, I would only say this to you, so after you listen to this tape, you have to erase it. But I can actually picture what it might be like to be with a man for the first time, sexually. If you're laughing at me right now, I don't blame you.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
painful cassette tape incident, gah, I can taste the pain, crushing for the world to see is so embarrassing

Pilot
We meet Felicity Porter, a young girl that just finished high school, and who finally works up the nerve to ask Ben Covington, her longtime crush, to sign her yearbook. She makes an impulsive decision to attend college in New York City, to follow Ben, and she leaves her parents crushed, after abandoning her long-established plans to study medicine at Stanford. In NY, Felicity moves into the dorm and meets new friends, a standoffish girl Meghan, her resident advisor Noel, and aspiring guitar player Julie, as she's trying to find out more about Ben and get closer to him.
Favorite Quote

Dear Felicity,
Here it goes. I watched you for four years, always wondered what you were like, and what was going on in your mind all that time when you were so quiet, just thinking. Drawing in your notebook. I should've just asked you, but I never asked you. So now, four years later, I don't even know you. But I admire you. Well, that makes me sound crazy, but I'm okay with that. So take care of yourself.
Love,
Ben
P.S. I would've said, "Keep in touch," but unfortunately, we were never in touch.

Why I love it in three words or phrases
following a boy, oh Ben ye of the mixed signal, heart-breaking

 

What's a show that you've been obsessed about? What are your favorite episodes?

"Felicity" #1-Q&A

 

So for about three weeks at the end of the last school year everyone of my status updates was about the show "Felicity". Although it had been recommended to me by several people, it wasn't until I stumbled upon it while grading that I realized that Felicity is the girl of my dreams...this week, I'll be talking all about "Felicity".

I'm starting with this survey...


Felicity Survey (By courtneybangelcakes)
Felicity Appreciation Thread #17


#1. Who is your favourite character and why? 
Ben...most character growth, most layered. And, he gets some of the best lines!

#2. Who do you like better -- Noel & Felicity or Ben & Felicity? Why? 
Ben and Felicity...true love, following your heart, being patient and not living your life for someone else are all good lessons that we learn from these two, besides I love a good passionate bit of yearning. With Felicity and Noel where is the yearning...sure, Noel pines, but pining isn't yearning.


#3. Which couple, aside from Felicity & her loves, did you really like together? Why? 
Meghan and Sean...they make me so angry! Actually, they make me so angry is such a realistic way! Argh!


#4. Which guy did you like Felicity with besides Ben & Noel (ie Greg, David, Owen, etc)?
um, none...what kind of question is that!? 


#5. Which couple didn't you like together? 
Elena and Tracy...I liked Elena and Trevor, though...hmmm...


#6. Do you have a favourite episode? Which one(s)?
#1..."The Aretha Theory"

#7. What is your favourite Felicity & Ben moment? 
"It's a time machine."


#8. What is your favourite Felicity & Noel moment? 
The Boggle Game


#9. Who is your favourite minor character (ie, characters only on for a short time, like Dr.Pavone, Guy, Molly, James, etc.)? 
Molly


#10. Do you have a favourite quote from the show? Which one(s)? 
"Okie doke" Julie says it soooo much that it's become part of my lexicon.


#11. Do you have a least favourite episode? 
yes...um...any involving Noel and Felicity or any where Ben looks crushed and hurt... *tear* SPOILERS: especially the one when he finds out that he's about to have a kid!


#12. Do you have a favourite song that was featured on the show? (Either on the soundtrack or not) Which one(s)?

 

 

#13. If you could step inside an episode and be Felicity and change things around a bit, what would you change and why? 
nothing and here's why...life is embarrassing, we make brash decisions, we have to live with our mistakes and SPOILER: even if we can relive our moments and go back in time nothing big changes.


#14. Would you have liked Sean to end up with Julie instead of Meghan? Why or why not? 
no, because opposites are perfect for one another and Meghan cracks me up!


#15. What invention of Sean's did you think was the funniest? 
the Lact-Oh's...here are some more!


#16. What happened on the show that shocked you the most (ie Sean & Meghan getting together, Felicity cheating on Ben with Noel, etc)? 
SPOILERS besides Todd getting hit by a truck...Lauren actually being pregnant


#17. Do you think the show should've ended differently? How? 
no


#18. Who do you think was the best ACTOR on the show? Why? 
Scott Speedman, just watch any scene he's in...he's always in that moment and in that scene.


#19. What moment on the show made you really really happy? 
This whole entire montage really takes the cake!

#20. (final sum-up question) Why do you love the show so much?
It's real and I see myself in Felicity...where's my Ben?

So, how would you all answer these questions???

Sorry to Bore You...

...but, I need to get a few things out of the way so I can begin to blog again. I am a writer really. I'm not sure my works will ever be published, I'm not sure that I think of writing as a profession, but I am a writer and not writing is making me live in Crazy Town population 1.

I started this blog for me therefore it doesn't really have a target audience, actually I don't really have a target anything--although I try to make it center around books and reading. I was having a hard time adjusting to being in a family and being married and I needed an outlet. You know somewhere I could have personal space and time without neglecting my work/friends/family...writing and reading are the only things that can occur anywhere and at anytime. I kept the blog going because it was like going to a counselor that gave really great advice and, writing about me (even writing about books that I read) has been and will continue to be therapeutic.

My personal life is busting my chops. I don't go into things lightly I pray about it and talk about it with all sorts of people. I did not decide to become a teacher without lots of thought, I did not decide to stay in Lebanon lightly and I did not go into my marriage lightly, so when one or all of these are not functioning properly stressful is an understatement. I don't really even want to blog about it as I hate it when I am wrong...and, it looks like I was wrong about a lot of things, and it will take the rest of the year and working to change my credit score to fix it all. Work life crossing into personal life. Ugh.

My work life is busting my chops. I have four preps. I need to get a news magazine out. We have 3 new teachers in our department. I'm a mentor. I'm on the PD committee. Literacy across the school building. Saturday work days. Sunday afternoon work days. Personal life crossing into work life. Vom.

I'm still amazed at the person who can be on all sorts of social media, have a job, have a family...ie. have a life outside of social media and still blog daily...where are you finding the time? where can I score the kind of happy pills you are taking? And, I'm sooooooooooooooo behind in my reading...

So, what do I hope to be able to do from here on out?...I am still writing and still thinking and still enjoying life. I'm going to make time to write about that more as being in my head so much has caused me to be a killjoy and a buzz-kill...it has caused me to be a little less than the person I know me to be. On this new adventure expect writing about books, writing about my daughter, about my faith and school, just don't expect it daily or even weekly or on any schedule at all.

So, next week I'll get back to blogging about books/school/whatevs...promise.

Never Let Them See You Cry...ish

So, "The Today Show" had a poll today about crying in the workplace. I am admittedly against crying of any kind (yes, I know I have issues we can talk about them later), but I am especially against crying at school in front of people, especially when those people happen to be the students I'm teaching. 

Now, I LOVE interacting with my students and can get off-track with the best of them, laughing at their jokes, learning the lingo, 'friending' them on FB or doing the good 'ole follow back on Twitter, but there is something private and vulnerable about letting them see me cry. I'm not sure I want my students to know me in this way. Then it hit me and is still hitting me as I type this...I have cried in front of students. During the course of my 14 (almost 15) years of teaching I have cried several times in front of students. There are several different reasons I cried and there are several appropriate reasons to cry at the workplace. I'm not sure that all of my reasons are the most appropriate, but they did let me get to know the students on a more personal and compassionate level.

Let's break it down...

Reasons to NEVER cry in front of students

1. When a kid makes you so upset and hurts your feelings so much you just lose it. To teach you have to have a tough shell and the students have to know that while you love them they are teenagers and you are an adult. When you let one of them hurt your feelings so much that you cry you have lost the audience. Sadder still that audience tells the world that so and so made you cry and you lose credibility for years. I've seen this happen to nice, sweet new teachers. My suggestion: cry during lunch break or go to the bathroom. Or, you can do what I did my first year of teaching and tell a kid, "I promise you, you will cry way before I do." Yipes! I was one tough broad.

2. Over a boy. Or, girl for that matter. Keep your private life private. Now, this one I regretfully know from experience. Your kids know you better than you know them after all they get to study you for long periods of time every day. They know who you like, they know what you dislike and they know who you date...they've seen you out and about (this is especially true in a small town). So, when you and your man friend stop seeing one another, um, they know and when you start crying because you got to school late, burned your neck on your straight iron and just got off the phone with him before entering the building they know you are not crying because you can't figure out how to make your OHP work, it's because of said boy. Probably not a good idea that the kids know so much about you, am I right!? *looks away nervously* Cry in front of your friends instead...um... PS. I think it's OK to cry with your students if they are crying about a boy or a girl...I hate when girls make boys cry and usually also cry if a boy is crying in front of me.

Reasons where it is OK and should be encouraged to cry

1. When a student you know personally, or your students know personally, dies. In the past 14 (almost 15 years) 2 students died of cancer, there are been 4 suicides, a fatal accidental shooting, a murder and several car accidents where students I knew passed away. My heart breaks all over just thinking about these people who I loved so much-this is so tough. On days when things like this happen the show must go on, but you don't have to be a hard ass about it, trust me. I can remember so many times when kids have just stopped by my room while I was teaching to talk or to just find a quiet place after a tragedy happens. I didn't mind crying in the hallway or hugging or crying in front of a whole class at these moments. I also don't mind talking about how precious and wonderful each of them are to me, I don't mind talking to them about being safe because I love them...I don't mind crying a lot. "Why are you crying?" a student asked me one time, "You only met her once." I replied, "I am crying because I know you and you are hurting and that hurts me. I am sorry that I can't do more about it, but talk to you and cry with you." I meant that and still mean it.

2. When someone in your family is hurting or has passed away...I think this includes pets. I cried when my favorite cat died in the middle of the night and I had to go to school the next day. I cried several days before my aunt passed away and several days after I came back. When students asked why I was so upset I didn't mind telling them. Parents sent me flowers, students sent me flowers...even for the cat. I have never forgotten how kind these particular students were to me and I still see that kindness in them to this day (I think they're like 30 years old now!).

3. When something that you are teaching moves you. Every year I get a little misty-eyed when we read Our Town. I cannot help it. I love that play so much just talking about how important it is to live your boring life to its fullest, to talk about cherishing the stupid moments with family and friends so moves me that I can't help it. One year I especially lost it when a student talked about how much she enjoyed the bus ride to school because every morning she got to see the sunrise come up over the hills. What 15 year-old talks that way!? And, would I have gotten to experience such openness had I not already shared how much I love life via the reading of Our Town?

4. When the kids do something so AWESOME that you can't help it. Last year I had a particularly wonderful group of students I hated to see go. I got a little misty-eyed talking to them about how much I'd miss them. I've had students who never ace tests knock one out of the park...I couldn't help, but get misty-eyed talking about how cool that was. When kids are in shows that move me I'm so proud that I can't help but cry...sometimes I also squeal like a little girl especially when a student remembers what I like and buys said thing for me unexpectedly. Gosh I love my students so much!

OK, so I may have to take back what I said about crying in the workplace. I'd also like to apologize to the students that I cried in front of because of a 'boy' or two...and, if I could, I'd take back that venn diagram...you know which one I'm talking about...I was young, I'd like to say it won't happen again, but I'm still a bit impulsive at times.