Women Stop Slamming Other Women to Get Your Point Across. The End.

Of course, I was raised by and have grown up
with some pretty powerful and strong women
who have done it all without complaint.

Ok, so I first read this very long list of articles when I saw the link on Yahoo ("Um, yes, Yahoo is where I get my news," she says sheepishly). I was not shocked by anything that Amy Glass says in her article, frankly, I still think some of those things after having a husband and a kid. I am tired of people accepting and making me do less because I have a family at home. Having a family should not be an excuse for not doing your job at the best of your ability, having a family does not take away my drive or ambition. I am not anything less than the person I already am. I just have a kid that gets 100% of my time, but not all the time. I loved this quote from The Awakening before I got pregnant and I love it even more now that my kid is four years old.

"I would give up the unessential; I would give my money, I would give my life for my children, but I wouldn't give myself." 

And, truly "myself" belongs to me.

But, I digress.

Here's a link to the original post, some of it can be quite harsh, but, as she suggest in her follow up post (Is The Point of Having Kids Just to Not Be Lonely?) and as your preacher suggest every Sunday morning, if there's something that makes you feel guilt/upset/unhappiness/anger think about why it does. So, here's the link and the most controversial of the quotes with my two cents. I mean quotes not counting the already quite controversial and scathing title. Then after this are some responses with my two cents. Enjoy!?

I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I'm Not Sorry

Me and my sisters

• Every time I hear someone say that feminism is about validating every choice a woman makes I have to fight back vomit. I think it is about every choice a woman makes, but I understand what she is saying as there are women who blindly commit to what they feel is right without taking into account their own happiness. That has been the plight of women all along. The problem is that there are women who feel that women are incomplete UNTIL they get married and have kids, as if that's our only purpose (even God says otherwise) and there are some women that feel they have done something horrible if they SUCCUMB to marriage and kids. They feel their lives are meant for something more. There is no more, but there also is no less. If we are doing what we know to be right and we are not acting like martyrs about that fact. We are being strong females.
• Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? "Equal footing" Yes. Better than? No. Less than? No.
• Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average. And here’s the thing, why on earth are we settling for average? Frankly, I said this very thing while I was pregnant, "Please don't make me have a Shower, anyone can get pregnant, let's not celebrate it." I know you might this ironic, but I'm actually a very private person. I don't need my personal accomplishments blasted all over for them to be accomplishments. I know they are and that's all that matters. I mean I got married in Vegas for pete sakes and am not upset that only a handful of people came. I didn't get married for people. I got married for me. Were the
  
  Showers fun? Sure. But, I hate that now because of it there are people who think "Wow, Stephanie has a softer side/cries/has feelings." I always had those feelings, I don't have to show them for them to exist. I don't have to have a kid for you to know that I work hard, am caring, thoughtful, value my time with my friends and my family. Average? I know that in the USA we seem to only think of things in black and white and if a woman is a successful person she must hate kids and family and if she's a stay at home mom (SAHM) she must not have any drive or life goals. Why can't we have both? I think the main thing is 'settling' I hope that no woman settles into having a career if she wants to be a SAHM and I hope that women are SAHMs by choice. Honestly, some women are so bitter or so pontificating in how happy they must be that I wonder. Don't forget 'choice' means you can change your mind.
• I want to have a shower for a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job not when she stays inside the box and does the house and kids thing which is the path of least resistance. Single Women Showers happen all the time. Women buy their own diamonds all the time. Throw a shower for your friend for any of these things. Ask me to plan it and I'll say "No." Ask me to attend and I probably won't, but my married friends can attest, I barely make it to weddings, showers et cetera ( I barely made it to my own--but that's a different story or two)...it's all equal in my eyes.
• You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids. Not true, it just means you never sleep. I miss sleep. However, I have chosen this life. To quote a former student and younger sister to a dear friend, "I do what I want." That means that sometimes I start writing a blog post at 5am or I read a book while the husband entertains (sometimes is forced to entertain) the kid in the living room. It means there are weeks when I'm not home because I have to get the magazine put to bed or I have to go to a conference. It means that most of the time the husband cooks dinner if he wants it before 7.30p (which is when I'd have it). It means that Saturday Work days with the journalism kids means I bring my kid. It means that when I work on Sunday afternoons I usually bring the kid. (Of course, all that means is that the husband 'gets' more free time than me, but I'm not hating, I would like it to be reciprocal, but at the same time I LOVE being around my kid, she's funny and smart and great to talk to). It's not selfish. We both have a kid. We both must be equally responsible about that. Equally. We both must give up some of our personal time as a sacrifice sometimes to the other and sometimes to the kid. It is a sacrifice. I don't have to be a martyr about it. It's what good parents (stay at home or otherwise) do. It's what I want to do. It's not only mothers who have this duality though. Single women play dual roles (I remember thinking I spent too much time at work and so on...), and so do men...um, I've never asked the husband if he wants me to take the kid everywhere I go, I just do because I want to because I'd miss her. Maybe he doesn't want to work on the car/drink beer/watch TV as much as I think he does. Maybe he misses her too.
• I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments.

  

  Me and the person I would give my life for.

  Hmmm...maybe this is the reason I never talk about it, maybe this is the reason I sometimes resent those that do and I sometimes resent those who think I work too hard because I should be a 'mother' more. Managing a household is hard, my mother did it without a husband, but she had lovely sisters and parents to help her more than I realized at the time. I go back to the black and white thing. We don't have to bash women who manage a household to raise up those who do not. We can have it both ways. I do think there are women out there who like to show you their martyrdom no matter if it's at work or at home. It's not because they think they are doing less, it's not because they lack real accomplishments, it's because they are whiny. Um, there are whiny men too! Duh! God gave you a job, now do it!
• Women will be equal with men when we stop demanding that it be considered equally important to do housework and real work. Women will be equal with men when we value our work regardless of what it is. When we understand that we each have different roles and different ways we play out those roles. Candace Cameron Bure isn't entirely off her rocker. I'm a firm believer that when a man is fulfilling his role, than a woman can fulfill hers. When we work together to raise one another up, when we stop creating our own dividing line we can be a unified whole. Women are not less than when they are married or have kids. Women are not less than when they aren't in control of everything and men aren't less than when they listen to and understand and are sensitive to women. Neither are women.

Dear Feminazi Amy Glass

This one has some wonderful points You see, there should never be a comparison of a woman who decides to devote herself to her family and the importance of a sound structured home life to a woman who devotes herself to her work and taking care of herself.  Both are equally respectable choices for an individual to make. Your mistake, in my opinion, is deciding that one should be better than the other.

True... Ms. Glass, some women choose to stay at home to raise a family because they feel their sacrifice to do so is important to them, not you. 

True... Have you ever considered that for some women their “dream job” as you called in your blog is to raise a family? Who are you Ms. Glass to suggest that she is wrong to feel that way?

What??? I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest you are a liberal. I say this because some liberal females (not all) suggest this type of “feminism” to the extreme as if the many possibilities of a woman’s choice don’t exist.  

Back to some loveliness... You know Ms. Glass, I have a friend who chose to remain single and owns her own business as a career, but her focus is not whether or not she remains single or decides to marry and start a family, but simply to do her best each day for herself and those who are important.

OK, fine... It’s called having mutual respect. You might want to try that philosophy sometime; it may just get you further in life.

Surround yourself with
strong women. That's what
I always say...

And, the bite is back! P.S.  My apologies if you are actually a world renowned scientist who has found a cure for cancer and just writes a pithy blog on her spare time criticizing random people whose choices have nothing to do with you.

I Look Down On Women Who Troll Women with Husbands and Kids and I'm Not Sorry

Again, I agree, but do we have to cut one woman (or, women who think like her) to elevate our point? Amy gets an A for writing some rage-bait, and an F for her opinion.

Saying that women who choose to be moms and wives rather than being a doctor or an engineer are not as important as women who do choose those paths isn’t a new notion, it’s something that women contemplate and struggle with and face everyday. 

Why the dis at the end? We hear you Amy, but it’s not like we haven’t heard it a gazillion times before, by writers a lot more eloquent than you.

Why the dis at the end? I love me some ragey click bait. ...And I think every woman should be allowed to have her opinion, no matter how “wrong” and misguided I feel their opinion is.

Really? It’s fine that this writer doesn’t see raising a family as being valuable. As someone raising a family I feel differently. But I just can’t muster the energy to care about fighting this notion when I have laundry to do.

Um, do you? To me that’s a lot more important that arguing with someone bloviating on the internet.

I Feel Sorry for Amy Glass and I'm Not Ashamed

And, this one, why so hateful? At the end of it, I want to apologize to Amy Glass. Heck! I want to apologize to every woman I know... First of all, getting married and having kids ARE milestones. Not everyone can do either, even fewer can do both. Well ok, let’s compromise. Pretty much anyone can GET married. It’s STAYING married that takes commitment and the ability to put someone else’s needs above your own. Clearly divorce rates show that this is not as easily achieved as one might think.

As for having babies, roughly half of the worlds population lacks the actual biological components, and those who do have the correct parts are not guaranteed an ability to produce a child. Add in the fact that a growing number of women abort their children and your total number of women who can successfully bring a baby to term has been significantly decreased.

Ok, we get it without having to go here... Based on your article I will assume you have been unable to do either, so maybe it’s not as easy as you think.

Or, here...ouch, really, ouch. Shorter version is, tomorrow I could become a writer and replace you. It might take an hour or two to learn about what you do, but the fact is you are easily replaceable. I am not. You could not replace me. You don’t have the skills. And when the Zombie apocalypse hits and skills other than ‘writing‘ are necessary, you’re getting left outside the fence. Try not to get eaten. 

Society Still Needs Family Women

Starts off so much in my head and then...Many mothers today have a career, and there is nothing wrong with that. A strong woman will be able to balance taking their child to soccer practice with all of the other aspects of life that are thrown at her on a daily basis. 

Not true...do we really need to compare? Aren't they both just being the best versions of themselves? A woman who decides to stay at home to take care of the home, to take care of the children, and to take care of everyone’s needs is stronger than any CEO of any large company in this world. 

Who wants to deny this kid that she can do it all???

And, I loathe the proliferation of stereotypes to prove a point...the role of men has changed. It has changed and is still trying to adapt to this 'modern woman'... The women who have raised children know what I am talking about. They have witnessed and experienced life in ways that men cannot even dream. Men are conditioned to get a job, take care of the family, come home, and do it against the next day. They are the protectors of the family from outside forces that may be too much for the women and children to handle on their own. This is what society sees the male in a relationship as. That has not really changed much with time, but the role of the woman has and has grown to be the person who stays at home to cook and clean to the person who cooks, cleans, buys clothes, buys food, works for her own money, and helps when the bills come in the mail...

Really? I'm not sure why somebody needs to experience it to understand it. I think we need to talk about the joys of both more. The woman who can juggle work outside the home with everything else in the home may just be the true master of the castle, so to speak. The woman who puts down other women for wanting a family does not see the joy that those women get because that woman has yet to experience it. She has not experienced the love of someone else, the joy of giving birth to a child, or raising a family like many women today still do. 

Really? Those children grow up to be parents themselves, and who is the first person they think back to when they are trying to figure out how to raise their own child or how to juggle all of life’s responsibilities at one time?

Their mother!

I Think People Without Kids Have Empty Lives and I'm Not Sorry About It

Um, who says? I never thought of myself as the kind of person who judges other people’s choices. But after spending enough of my life with kids and without, I can’t deny what I really feel: It’s a perfectly fine choice to never become a parent, but there is absolutely no chance that your life will be as full or meaningful, or that you will learn as many essential truths about existence, as you would if you had kids.

True, but you can have empathy, and don't we all need a little more of that?! (and, let's add "until you've" become a teacher, doctor, lawyer, policemen, person of the opposite sex, different race, different religion and so on...) There are certain truths about life that you literally cannot know until you’ve become a parent. 

You are not less a person because you cannot do the following...you are not more of a person if you can... Watching a new life come to exist and seeing your child discover everything for the first time, from their nose to snow to seeing Terminator for the first time, and develop language and social skills and the first time they feel an emotion for the first time and you see all of that and a million other thing happen organically…when you get to see first hand what feelings and thoughts and personality traits occur naturally, what we’re born with versus what we are taught…literally every moment of being a parent, if you’re thoughtful and observant, is a mind-blowing opportunity to learn the most basic things about what it means to be human. There is not a single other thing you can do in your life that gives you access to that. 

Why? I don’t think people are somehow bad or wrong for not having kids – I just think it’s really, deeply sad. I feel tremendously sad for them.

Judging Other People Does Not Make You Exceptional: An Open Letter to Amy Glass

And, just, well, just ouch. If you keep this up, the only real impact you will have on the world when you die is the grass, if any, that chooses to grow on your grave. And instead of having “Loving Friend, Wife, and Mother” written on your gravestone, it will just be your name. And every person who passes by your grave will never remember your accomplishments, because you were too busy judging everyone else to make a real difference. 

Me and some of the non-judgmental women in my life.

So to sum it all up: Seriously, I think Amy Glass and I could be friends, we'd have lots to argue about and, um, she'd keep me on my toes and, hopefully that would be reciprocal.  I'm not sure how I feel about the women who've written their responses...I'm not sure that fighting fire with fire is the answer here, or ever really. Let's be honest with ourselves, Amy Glass wrote this post so those that are the opposite of her would bite and bite they did. 

After reading all of those articles I just felt overwhelmed and a little sad for the state of womanhood today. I think we could all use a good dose of empathy. Maybe Amy Glass just needs more friends who have families who don't make their families seem like a sacrifice they and only they alone against the world can make, maybe we need to spend less time talking down to her and her view points and more time examining our own because, wow, all I'm feeling is so far is a lot of woman on woman hate, and that includes you Amy Glass! Honestly, women, let's stop bashing other women to get our point across. Let's hang out more. Let's talk to one another about our lives, our successes, our failures, our children, our love lives more. Let's put the 'shoe on the other foot' and stop hating. Let's be the most successful versions of ourselves and let's push other women to do the same. 

H is for “How to Keep Your Daughter from Ending Up Like that Horrid Girl in Twilight”

About a month ago my good blogging friend Emily at Rosie Says (a blog that I can't praise enough...seriously, you should go check it out right now and then come back to finish this) posted an article How To Keep Your Daughter From Ending Up Like That Horrid Girl in Twilight and then tweeted me to ask what I thought about her list. Yes, it has taken me this long to respond. I wanted to a] read all the articles that are linked and then read all the articles that are linked in those articles and b]  make a list that I believe is the foundation of my womanhood and part of me. This is a list of books I read when I was younger and books that have come out that I know would have made me stronger had I had the opportunity to read them; all having traits I want my daughter to have.

I would like to first address the Bella Phenomenon, as she is being called out in the title of this post.

Bella Swan is everything that I despise in a teenage girl role-model. She is literally weak (really what girl is that clumsy?) and by the 4th book I wanted to literally punch her in the kidney--just to help her toughen up. I do not like that she can't live--give me a break--without Edward and literally does dangerous antics trying to kill herself until Edwards' voice in her head tells her to stop *gag*. I have spent my whole entire teaching career telling my students that they don't have to get married right after high school, I've even told a few that sex doesn't bind you to someone else for life, especially if that someone is abusive and controlling, and, yet, it seems that Bella wants to get married at a young age to have sex. Know that I do not believe that Edward is controlling. I do believe his obsession with her gets annoying after book #2 and I do believe her obsession with him is unhealthy and his need for it is insane.

However, Peggy Orenstein, in her book Cinderella Ate My Daughter, has a point when she talks about the fact that Bella is "neither smart, interesting, kind, graceful or even pretty" (110) and yet, this is the reason she is so popular and powerful and perfect for a certain type of girl. Orenstein says,

"Think about it: what a relief that must be for girls who feel constant pressure to be physically, socially and academically perfect! Bella does not spend two hours with a flatiron, ace her calculus test, score the winning goal in her lacrosse match, then record a hit song. Bella does not spout acidly witty dialogue. Bella does not wear $200 jeans on her effortlessly slim hips. Even in the Hollywood incarnation, as played by Kristen Stewart, she is relatively plain, modestly attired, and excruciatingly awkward. Yet Edward, the most desirable dude in the room, loves her--now that is a fairy tale. The fact that he refuses to consummate their relationship may make him all the more attractive to post-pubescent girls weary of the mandate to be sexy and please boys. Twilight may have given girls something they needed: a way to explore their nascent sexuality on their own terms, to feel desire rather than perform it."

And, it is because this is, in fact, true (just ask my friend who read the first book--pre-movie--in one sitting and then gushed on about how gallant Edward was until I read the book myself) that I just can't discount Bella, even if I do think she is 'horrid'. Do I pick Katniss Everdeen over Bella? Sure. But, I don't really like Katniss as a positive role-model for girls either (I'm sure I can and will talk about this at a later date).

So, below you will find a list of books that I believe encompass the traits that I want my tiny person to have. You will not find a Jane Austen heroine, although I do love Jane, (hmm...and, if I was going to pick one to emulate I'd probably lean towards Fanny Price over Elinor Dashwood, Marianne Dashwood or Elizabeth Bennett), a Katniss, Herimone or Bella in the bunch, and you may be surprised at some of my choices! There are 15 of them, I can definitely find more if asked...

1. The Book of Ruth (in the Bible)
Traits to emulate: faith in God, loyalty to family, good-natured, willingness to try new things

Young Adult Novels
2. Ten Things We Did (And, Probably Shouldn't Have)
Traits to emulate: willing to admit when wrong, strong-willed, owns up to mistakes, has sex (not that I want my kid to have sex at 16, I'm just sick of books that try to teach lessons about this by demonizing sex) and doesn't die or get pregnant or have to learn some sort of life lesson from it (you can read more about how I feel about this book here)
3. Class of '88 Series
Traits to emulate: three different female characters that all possess a trait or two that are awesome...Meg is brave and head-strong and smart, at first appearance Cecilia seems like the typical California blonde, but when it comes down to it, she will do anything for her friends and Allie is artistic, shy, and true to herself
4. Jacob Have I Loved
Traits to emulate: shows that even the quiet girl gets to have what she wants, also shows that you can leave your hometown and still have roots there
5. The Emily of New Moon and Anne of Green Gables books
Traits to emulate: I love both Emily and Anne and grew up with these lovely girls who became perfect women who loved and were loved, who could be silly and laugh at themselves
6. Paranormalcy
Traits to emulate: passionate, willing to share opinions, willing to change opinions, willing to fight for justice and to stamp out inequality
7. Divergent
Traits to emulate: being yourself is the most important thing you can be, nobody belongs in a vacuum even if everyone thinks said vacuum is a good idea, strength in adversity and...kicks butt even though she's small

Children's books
8. The Cat Ate My Gymsuit
Traits to emulate: you should feel good about yourself no matter how short, or overweight, or unathletic you are, you have something to say even if people think you are too young and even if you lose as long as you joined the fight you haven't lost anything at all
9. A Wrinkle in Time
Traits to emulate: risk life for little brother and father, does what she knows is right, gets annoyed at her family, realizes that she has her own power outside of her smart and athletic brothers
10. Chrysanthemum
Traits to emulate: love your family, love who you are, take pride in yourself, ignore those that try to belittle you...there are others like you and there are others who want to be with just as you are
11. A Little Princess
Traits to emulate: even in the darkest time imagination can make you brave, never give up, even when others say you are wrong, be a friend and be friendly to everyone no matter how different
12. The Secret Garden
Traits to emulate: Mary helps all of those around her, Mary's two best friends are boys and she doesn't care, she makes her own way all by herself, the boys just follow...
13. Little Women
Traits to emulate: I love, love, love, love Meg, Jo, Beth and, even Amy, but I especially love, love, love Jo in a way that I've only began to understand. When I was a kid I loved her strong will and strength, now I still love those things, but I also love her mind
14. Charlotte's Web
Traits to emulate: Fran was my first book best friend, she saves a pig, and it's so cool to watch her mature into a young adult, it's ok that she's shy and then hangs out with Henry, she will always love Wilbur
15. Kim/Kimi
Traits to emulate: this is the best book in terms of racial and cultural duality, Kim does not give up either of her identities for the sake of the other and that's pretty darned cool, I love that she, on her own researches her Japanese heritage


And, here's some great lists if you want to get lost in ranking some top-notch books by and about females.


Hmmm...look like I need to find some ethnically diverse role-models...can anybody help me with that? Thanks, ever so!

55 Books in a Year: Book #3 Geek Girls Unite, How Fangirls, Bookworms, Indie Chicks, and Other Misfits are Taking Over the World

I am a geek. I've embraced that fact from the first day I went to visit my grandfather and he told me stories about WWII and his early life in PA. While other kids were reading Amelia Bedelia (and, I read her too!), I was reading about fighter jets and pilots and Tuskegee Airmen...collecting WWII stories was my first foray into geekdom.

Fast forward to a few years later, which you can read all about here, I began an adventure in SF. I've collected books, movies and actors (yes, if you keep stats on actors on paper like IMBD, in 1985, before said website was even thought up and before the interwebs were created for mass use, you are, in fact, collecting actors), I collected dolls...er action figures (I still have my Yoda action figure, no you may not buy it from me) and I still have my Mulder and Scully Barbies (no you may not have those either!), rocks and posters. Starting my adult years I began to collect recipes and glassware. I think that it is being a collector that makes any person a geek. I don't think that Leslie Simon, author of Geek Girls Unite, disagrees at all.

The book is broken up into chapters focusing on various types of 'geeks’ (fangirl, literary, film, music, funny girl, domestic and miscellaneous) and each of those sections follows the same format: a quiz (where the answers are always 'C'...don't know why that is), a character sketch, descriptions of famous geeks of that ‘genre’, ‘frenemies’ (which is an hilarious look at those in that particular community that give the rest a bad name...) and concludes with ‘the perfect match for’ section. It's this last part that cracks me up the most, it's like Geek girls meet Cosmo mag and my friends and I had such a fun time checking off the list and then adding our own.

I like how Simon uses the introduction to make sure that we understand that while she may poke fun at this or that and that while we may do that too, we are all in this together. She says

It's time for us to reclaim the connotations of being a "geek" and hold tight to the term as a source of pride and distinction. In other words, embrace your quirkiness! Celebrate your idiosyncrasies! There is power in your geekiness! Trust.

And...

Here's the most important thing, though: just because our passions aren't the same," that doesn't mean we aren't united in our geeky affection for what ever it is that makes us happy--even if it feels like society sometimes pits us against one another. ...being a geek should unite--not divide--us. If one good thing comes out of this book, it will be that you get to know your geeky sisters (and cousins) so you can recognize these fabulous ladies when you see them, start a conversation, and realize that our differences are actually what bring us closer together.

I remembered the above when she defined, with a little bit of sass, but all truisms, the terms that I have used to refer to myself (geek, nerd, dork, dweeb, weirdo) and when, on more than one occasion, I found myself falling into the 'frenemies' category. We, even those of us who only scratch the surface of someone else's obsession, must love each other and unite in order to conquer the world.

Geek Girls Unite is just informative enough that teenager girls, who feel their inner geek, but can't find an outlet, can learn more and identify with others and those of us who already know what we are can laugh in delight. I mean I have at one time or another been totally in love with David Tennant (my Fangirl Geek Girlness), James Franco (my Literary Geek Girlness), Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Mark Ruffalo (my Film Geek Girlness), Jack White (my Music Geek Girlness), Andy Samberg (my Funny-Girl Geek Girlness)...and, I've crushed on Hungry Girl, Anthony Bourdain, Tina Fey, Stephen Colbert and John Stewart. I liked that Simon talks about Athletic Geek Girl as a person who doesn't necessarily play or want to play sports (it goes back to that collecting thing I mentioned earlier) so I felt comfortable about falling into this category as well. 

This book is part encyclopedia, part humor, part commentary, part major to-do list (as in I must now watch _____ or create a mix-CD of ________, why haven't I done that before?) and definitely a call to arms to all geek girls out there.

It is, after all, "a geek's world; everyone else is just living in it."

5 Stars

This book isn't really 280 pages on the Nook...seriously like 70 pages are footnotes. Each footnote gets its own page so you can click back and forth effortlessly. I'd like to also note that this book is glitchy moving from the last page of a chapter to the first page of the next one...not really sure what that's about, but I'm sure it can be fixed and I will wait to go to B&N before archiving and unarchiving et cetera, I have an irrational fear of deleting things that I shouldn't!

Female Role Models on The Tube

My Heroes

I've been watching a lot of Remington Steele lately, which means I've been doing a lot of self reflecting. I didn't realize it, but growing up I had two heroes; Wonder Woman, who stayed in my conscience brain and Laura Holt, who became so much a part of me I didn't even realize that aspects of me are, in fact, her.

When I was a kid I watched Wonder Woman every day after school (I must have watched it in some sort of syndication because I am not that old). And, from Lynda Carter's depiction of the Amazon Princess, I learned:

1. How you dress does not determine how you are perceived Although many today think of Wonder Woman as the sexy superhero (in writing this post I found severally Playboyesque pics of my hero), she doesn't for once let you forget that in tiny spangled spankies and high-heeled red go-go boots she can, and will, kick your heine.

2. Nice girls finish first Diana Prince, Princess Diana, Wonder Woman...always, always, always, according to creator William Marston stands for "love, peace and sexual equality". She is honest and virtuous and because of these traits always gets the bad guy and always gets the man she loves. Even if she does have to wait...for...ever...hmmm, she is also patient, another lovely quality of any 'nice girl'.

3. Girls are powerful in body and mind Even when talking to a perp, Wonder Woman's voice is smooth and without edge. As Diana Prince she isn't like bumbling Clark Kent instead she works for military intelligence and saves lives. She's been a secretary, a nurse, and a Major in the Army. Without the costume she is still self-assured and strong. In the costume she is all this and a powerful ally in the Justice League.

The Source is My Very Own Wonder Woman Pinterest Board

In Laura Holt, I learned all those traits, and more, could exist in a real person.

In watching Remington Steele with adult eyes and a nostalgic mind set, here are the things I've been noticing:

1. Less is More Stephanie Zimbalist is just friggin' beautiful. Yes, this is the first thing I noticed while watching the show again. The first time around I noticed Pierce Brosnan's beauty (yes, a 10 year old can know when a 30 year old is H-O-T), heck, the whole world noticed Mr. Brosnan's beauty. Anyway, Stephanie Zimbalist is beautiful running after bad guys, dancing in a ballroom, figuring out that a crime has been committed, in a skirt, in a dress, in heels, in espadrilles (and, she wears many variations and colors--I'm jealous), in slacks and without makeup. I love that there's so little make-up on her pretty face, that you can see her freckles. I also love that, unless she's working out, you do not see Laura Holt in sneakers...I hate sneakers and feel like a dork when wearing them...I don't know if I got that from her (my mother also wears sneakers rarely), but it's nice to see.

2. Girls with Brains Rule While it may be the girl with the curls and the eyelashes who catches the eye of the guy, it is the girl with the brains, the girl with the standards who gets him in the end. I mean Laura tells Mr. Steele how it is often. She makes sure that he knows that it's her detective agency. She connects all the dots all of the time and still, in the end, gets carried up the stairs by the man who loves her brains and her beauty.

3. Strong, Smart Girls Don't Always Have to Win It is so cool to see a character who is a strong girl who is allowed to be strong and still be feminine. Remington Steele is always there for Laura Holt...she cries on his shoulder when her house gets blown up and she learns lessons from his Type B personality...lessons like, "Friends come first", and, "Just because I'm angry at you doesn't mean I don't love you", lessons like, "Sure, We've got a crime to solve, but let's drink this wine first". There's one episode in Season 3 (I believe it's Episode 1) where Steele really does get angry with her and yells at her about how she always has to have everything her way and on her terms and he says that at some point in time he'd like her to think of him and what he wants. I love the role reversal and I love that she does, through-out the season, take a step back and reflect on her relationship with him. I love that he does too.


You've got to admit, I have some pretty awesome TV heroes.


Who are/were your TV heroes growing up?

American Girl in Italy

[Source]

Today, the above picture turns 60! Can you believe it? The subject of the photo, the lovely Ninalee Craig is 83 years old. If you read the story, Craig talks about the circumstances behind the photo, 23-year old woman traveling in Italy alone (amazing!) and adamantly denies that it was staged. More importantly, she talks about the fact that this picture is "a symbol of a woman having an absolutely wonderful time".

I didn't really think it was anything otherwise. I mean look at her face, chin up, an almost hauty expression...beautiful and enchanting. The photographer, Ruth Orkin, captured the timeless expression of the American woman abroad. I am glad this photograph exist as it demonstrates values that I try to emulate when I travel abroad. I've always thought of this as a picture of a woman owning her feminity; proud and resolute.

June 17th Saudi Women Drive



Breaking the Law Saudi Arabian style





1] About the cause organized by Manal Al-Sharif...here.
2] We are supporting Manal Al-Sharif
3] Many are changing their FB Profile pic in support!!!

Me driving...students to Drama Convention,
yes, they allow me to drive a van full of high schoolers!

What brave women! You go ladies!!!