30 Days of Truth: Someone Who Has Made Your Life Worth Living For

I found this meme here and here.

Seven: Someone Who Has Made Your Life Worth Living For

Where I've Been Lately...

A Run-Down of the Last Month

I can't believe that I've been absent from my darling blog for a month. School is kicking my butt right now and what I like to do when I'm not watching my kiddo, traveling to conferences, making new lesson plans for new units or reading is sleep (and, I've been doing very little of that lately). Sorry dear blog, I'd like to say it won't happen again, but really, shouldn't teaching be easier after 14 years?! And, while planning lessons we still managed to visit family, go on shopping trips, plan a birthday party and do all the normal day to day things October brings! I even read some books...light and fluffy and full of non-sense, but books just the same.

Here's the breakdown on my activities...by week...

September 25th-October 2nd
Jackets Unite and fun at the park

On the Merry-Go-Round, pretty sure she liked this a lot.

Nerd Day during Spirit Week. This is one pic
in the card for our department head, who was out with
a broken wrist. I can't show you the other pic...
it involves David Duchovny and some tea.

Homecoming 2012!!!

October 2nd-October 9th
I made the tutu. She wants to decorate it!

October 9th-October 16th
Pumpkin Patch and Happy Birthday!!!

[Gunter Farm]

October 16th-October 23rd
Dinner with Friends

October 23rd-Tomorrow
I'm pretty excited for this week!!! 

A Mighty Girl

I cannot tell a lie, having a kid is a heck of a lot of fun.
I cannot tell a lie, having a little girl is pretty awesome.

I've spent a lot of time on this blog talking about just how much I think about this little girl (who is at the moment singing the theme song to "SuperWhy" and simultaneously talking asking me about the pictures of Washington DC on my t-shirt) and who she will become and how I can help her get there without hindering who she is. I've talked about...

Working and having a tiny person
Trusting God with my kiddo
Travel Reads
and
Female Literary characters that I want to have a positive role-model for her

And, while raising a girl means I embrace the pink and the lilac and the frill, it also means that I don't want to be devoured by it, nor do I want to lose her in it. I reach out to who and whatever I can to help me find the balance. I read books about raising kids and raising girls and having teenage daughters and I look for the balance of Princessness (it's a word). Somebody on Geek Girls posted this link to the most wonderful site for raising girls ever! There's books and movies and ideas for presents and princess books and, well, it's amazing.

Click here to be taken to awesomeness...You can follow them on Pinterest too!

X is for Xanadu

xan·a·du

Noun:

Used to convey an impression of a place as almost unattainably luxurious or beautiful.

H is for “How to Keep Your Daughter from Ending Up Like that Horrid Girl in Twilight”

About a month ago my good blogging friend Emily at Rosie Says (a blog that I can't praise enough...seriously, you should go check it out right now and then come back to finish this) posted an article How To Keep Your Daughter From Ending Up Like That Horrid Girl in Twilight and then tweeted me to ask what I thought about her list. Yes, it has taken me this long to respond. I wanted to a] read all the articles that are linked and then read all the articles that are linked in those articles and b]  make a list that I believe is the foundation of my womanhood and part of me. This is a list of books I read when I was younger and books that have come out that I know would have made me stronger had I had the opportunity to read them; all having traits I want my daughter to have.

I would like to first address the Bella Phenomenon, as she is being called out in the title of this post.

Bella Swan is everything that I despise in a teenage girl role-model. She is literally weak (really what girl is that clumsy?) and by the 4th book I wanted to literally punch her in the kidney--just to help her toughen up. I do not like that she can't live--give me a break--without Edward and literally does dangerous antics trying to kill herself until Edwards' voice in her head tells her to stop *gag*. I have spent my whole entire teaching career telling my students that they don't have to get married right after high school, I've even told a few that sex doesn't bind you to someone else for life, especially if that someone is abusive and controlling, and, yet, it seems that Bella wants to get married at a young age to have sex. Know that I do not believe that Edward is controlling. I do believe his obsession with her gets annoying after book #2 and I do believe her obsession with him is unhealthy and his need for it is insane.

However, Peggy Orenstein, in her book Cinderella Ate My Daughter, has a point when she talks about the fact that Bella is "neither smart, interesting, kind, graceful or even pretty" (110) and yet, this is the reason she is so popular and powerful and perfect for a certain type of girl. Orenstein says,

"Think about it: what a relief that must be for girls who feel constant pressure to be physically, socially and academically perfect! Bella does not spend two hours with a flatiron, ace her calculus test, score the winning goal in her lacrosse match, then record a hit song. Bella does not spout acidly witty dialogue. Bella does not wear $200 jeans on her effortlessly slim hips. Even in the Hollywood incarnation, as played by Kristen Stewart, she is relatively plain, modestly attired, and excruciatingly awkward. Yet Edward, the most desirable dude in the room, loves her--now that is a fairy tale. The fact that he refuses to consummate their relationship may make him all the more attractive to post-pubescent girls weary of the mandate to be sexy and please boys. Twilight may have given girls something they needed: a way to explore their nascent sexuality on their own terms, to feel desire rather than perform it."

And, it is because this is, in fact, true (just ask my friend who read the first book--pre-movie--in one sitting and then gushed on about how gallant Edward was until I read the book myself) that I just can't discount Bella, even if I do think she is 'horrid'. Do I pick Katniss Everdeen over Bella? Sure. But, I don't really like Katniss as a positive role-model for girls either (I'm sure I can and will talk about this at a later date).

So, below you will find a list of books that I believe encompass the traits that I want my tiny person to have. You will not find a Jane Austen heroine, although I do love Jane, (hmm...and, if I was going to pick one to emulate I'd probably lean towards Fanny Price over Elinor Dashwood, Marianne Dashwood or Elizabeth Bennett), a Katniss, Herimone or Bella in the bunch, and you may be surprised at some of my choices! There are 15 of them, I can definitely find more if asked...

1. The Book of Ruth (in the Bible)
Traits to emulate: faith in God, loyalty to family, good-natured, willingness to try new things

Young Adult Novels
2. Ten Things We Did (And, Probably Shouldn't Have)
Traits to emulate: willing to admit when wrong, strong-willed, owns up to mistakes, has sex (not that I want my kid to have sex at 16, I'm just sick of books that try to teach lessons about this by demonizing sex) and doesn't die or get pregnant or have to learn some sort of life lesson from it (you can read more about how I feel about this book here)
3. Class of '88 Series
Traits to emulate: three different female characters that all possess a trait or two that are awesome...Meg is brave and head-strong and smart, at first appearance Cecilia seems like the typical California blonde, but when it comes down to it, she will do anything for her friends and Allie is artistic, shy, and true to herself
4. Jacob Have I Loved
Traits to emulate: shows that even the quiet girl gets to have what she wants, also shows that you can leave your hometown and still have roots there
5. The Emily of New Moon and Anne of Green Gables books
Traits to emulate: I love both Emily and Anne and grew up with these lovely girls who became perfect women who loved and were loved, who could be silly and laugh at themselves
6. Paranormalcy
Traits to emulate: passionate, willing to share opinions, willing to change opinions, willing to fight for justice and to stamp out inequality
7. Divergent
Traits to emulate: being yourself is the most important thing you can be, nobody belongs in a vacuum even if everyone thinks said vacuum is a good idea, strength in adversity and...kicks butt even though she's small

Children's books
8. The Cat Ate My Gymsuit
Traits to emulate: you should feel good about yourself no matter how short, or overweight, or unathletic you are, you have something to say even if people think you are too young and even if you lose as long as you joined the fight you haven't lost anything at all
9. A Wrinkle in Time
Traits to emulate: risk life for little brother and father, does what she knows is right, gets annoyed at her family, realizes that she has her own power outside of her smart and athletic brothers
10. Chrysanthemum
Traits to emulate: love your family, love who you are, take pride in yourself, ignore those that try to belittle you...there are others like you and there are others who want to be with just as you are
11. A Little Princess
Traits to emulate: even in the darkest time imagination can make you brave, never give up, even when others say you are wrong, be a friend and be friendly to everyone no matter how different
12. The Secret Garden
Traits to emulate: Mary helps all of those around her, Mary's two best friends are boys and she doesn't care, she makes her own way all by herself, the boys just follow...
13. Little Women
Traits to emulate: I love, love, love, love Meg, Jo, Beth and, even Amy, but I especially love, love, love Jo in a way that I've only began to understand. When I was a kid I loved her strong will and strength, now I still love those things, but I also love her mind
14. Charlotte's Web
Traits to emulate: Fran was my first book best friend, she saves a pig, and it's so cool to watch her mature into a young adult, it's ok that she's shy and then hangs out with Henry, she will always love Wilbur
15. Kim/Kimi
Traits to emulate: this is the best book in terms of racial and cultural duality, Kim does not give up either of her identities for the sake of the other and that's pretty darned cool, I love that she, on her own researches her Japanese heritage


And, here's some great lists if you want to get lost in ranking some top-notch books by and about females.


Hmmm...look like I need to find some ethnically diverse role-models...can anybody help me with that? Thanks, ever so!

A is for Apropos

Because we write better when we write about what we know I jumped right on what my good friend, Becky, suggested would be an excellent idea for this month "kid products that I like", I'm taking it a step further and writing about my life with a toddler, yes...toddlers and preschoolers and crafts and books and products and marriage.  Now, if you'd told me 10 years ago that I'd have 26 things to say about this subject and its sub-topics I would have said "Phooey", but here we are.

Hopefully, I don't bore myself or others!

Because, it's Sunday I thought I'd talk about toddlers in church and growing in faith.

I'll premise this with a blog post about going to church (found here) and one about trusting God with our kids (found here). These, of course, you don't have to read to go on...just thought you might like to see were I'm coming from and would like to know that we have struggles and have definite faith without the frills, so to speak.

I love that Lila Jane goes to a preschool that is Bible based, it's cool that she knows her ABCs and "Jesus Loves Me" and it's wonderful that out of nowhere she says things like "God loves me just the way that I am and he loves you too".

There are little, but powerful, things that we do at home to keep our tiny person focused on good Christian living and, in turn, those things have made us better parents and better people. Could we be better? Sure. One of those areas is going to church and I can tell you, we find it hard to get all of us ready to go to church and to go to Sunday School. But, here's were we've started...

1. We keep the cussing to a minimum. This is harder for one of us than the other, but we are getting better about it.
2. We don't watch inappropriate (for her age level) movies or shows, play video games or listen to inappropriate music while she is at home with us. This usually means that we watch those things while she's asleep or not at home, I mean we grown-ups-ish. It also means we do those things minimally, as she is usually with us. What has happened is that Christopher really has curbed all of his game playing, we've gotten to know EVERY episode of Dora the Explorer and we watch way less TV, as a whole family, that doesn't have some sort of moral lesson or isn't made for the family. Trust me, that's a good thing.
3. We do things as a family. At least once a month we go somewhere as a family or we do something at home as a family, just the three of us.
4. We read The Bible. OK, we don't actually read The Bible, that bores most adults, most teenagers and I'm sure most 2 year olds, we actually read Bible stories, not every night, but we like to read Bible stories to Lila Jane. My favorite story to read to her is the story of Ruth.

We're not perfect, but we're working on it together as a family.

Great Places to Look for Inspirational Activities with your toddler
Bible Lessons for Kids
How to Teach Your Child About the Greatness of God
Sunday School Crafts
The Here and Now (a lovely post about the joy the tiny people bring)

[Source]

Superbowl XLVI with the Ladies!

For the record the game was on. I know that the Giants won. I loved the Clint Eastwood commerical as I am a sucker for good All-American sentiment, I did not love any of the GoDaddy.com commericals...just felt dirty afterwards.

However, here's what I really did Superbowl 2012.

Bought the ingredients for some Bittersweet inspired cupcakes.  The recipe is from the beginning of Chapter 16
Lights, Camera, Cupcakes. I switched out chocolate coca-cola cupcakes for yellow made with Mtn. Dew instead of water and chocolate frosting...semi-homemade like Sandra Lee and I like it. Below is what they looked like afterwards...popcorn and peanuts and M&Ms and Raisinets, OH MY!

My besties came over (Chris left to watch the game with the guys) and we had enough dips to feed an Army. The recipes for all three dips can be found here; the other two are from Wallie World. We also had Guac with extra cilantro, Gushers (for the kiddo), and a meat and cheese tray. Yes, that was enough food to feed the four of us ladies, the kidlet and that army from 300.

We graded, read books, sorta watched the game (I think we saw all the major catches and that strange touchdown at the end), watched Madonna and Matthew Broderick (boy, I'm getting old), you know all the important parts were not missed. Lila Jane helped clean up afterwards (yes, she was still awake, frankly, she was still awake 2 hours after the Superbowl...maybe it was all those Gushers and cupcakes and cookies and dip).

BEST SUPERBOWL EVER!!! 

Hope we do it again next year, ladies!!!

A Day of Celebration!

Six Word Saturday #19

My life in six words
Memory Lane with the Tiny Tot!

I spent the better part of Saturday reorganzing the tiny tot's room. This meant mostly going through her clothing and packing up things she could no longer fit. It took the better part of yesterday because I spent the better part of yesterday in a nostalgic cloud thinking about when she wore this outfit or had this shirt...sigh, memories.

Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. The full list and linky can be found here. And, here's where I found it.

Vacation is a time for yearning...

          OK, so if I remember the story correctly...my sister's husband received a certificate for an iPad, they used that certificate and upgraded to an iPad 2...whatever the story is I want one (I've been playing with Kim's all week long, frankly, I'm not sure I've put it down, as Kim takes the laptop to work), it does almost everything I want it to do (and, I hear that if you buy accessories for it, it can do even more)...Lila wants one too! Hmmm...Christmas wishes!

Entertaining Travel Reads

          As I plan several flights this summer I've been thinking about how to occupy the mind of a 20 month old on a plane full of people. At home, when she's bored I just pop on the TV, turn on the music or throw the bag of blocks all over the living room floor...these are not viable options on plane, as she doesn't use headphones yet, and for those of you who think these options are ideal (and, you know who you are...) shame on you as I'm not really in the market for annoying others on the plane, nor do I like the idea of treating the whole plane as my personal living room, as I am not so far removed from being on the other end of that experience. I remember quite clearly a mother and companion and three little people who sat in that space at the front of the plane (where there's leg room) and had crayons, markers, blocks, noisy toys et cetera all over the floor even as the plane landed and people wanted to get off the plane...not cool.
          To me, the easiest way to entertain a tiny tot is to give them books, one at a time. 1] Books are quiet, even if the tiny tot in question wants you to read the book you can read it to them at conversation level or a whisper (much quieter than a noisy toy). 2] Books are not messy, your tiny person cannot write with the book, sure, they can write on the book, but that's only if you give them a writing utensil. 3] Books are small and can be easily packed into your childs carry-on.

Here are some books that I recommend as ideal travel reads:

• Baby Einstein Cats by Julie Aigner-Clark It's a tiny board book that fits easily into any compartment of a carry-on, or in a pocket. You're kid can eat it or bend it and if he/she wants you to read it, it's short and easy. This is a cat. Cats are warm and soft to hold.
• I'll Teach My Dog A Lot of Words by Michael Frith Again, it's a board book, not as small Cats (but, I'm guessing you'll be hard-pressed to find many other books as small as Cats) and I can attest to the fact that it's really easy to read on the plane and can be acted out with little to no interruptions to other passengers (it's all in the voice and the eyes). My kidlet likes to read this to herself and that's...well, it's nice. The first words I will teach my pup are dig a hole and fill it up.
• Duck and Goose Find a Pumpkin by Tad Hills This is a lovely interactive book where Duck and Goose ask questions about where to find a pumpkin, most of the answers are "No" and your kiddo can catch on pretty quickly and answer. Trust me it's fun. I hear there are other books in the series, but this is the only one we know by heart! "Is the pumpkin in the leaf pile, Duck?" "No."
• Baby Einstein My First Book of Numbers by Julie Aigner-Clark The tiny person can be entertained for hours by this book. Seriously...there's counting, there's colors, there's rubber ducks and marbles and flowers and bees, there's pictures of little people. This book is really big though, so big that when I've taken it on trips, it's been one of two books I take (and the other is usually a squishy bathbook like Seahorse or, a small board book like, um, Cats--can you tell what book my kiddo really likes?!) If you start with three and add one more, did you know you have the number four? Just draw a triangle and add a little line for a number four that looks just fine.
• Seaside Bath Books-Seahorse by Julie Clough We bought this book at Shedd Aquarium in Chicago and then spent the 8 hr. train ride home being entertained by it. It has a squeaker, but so far Lila can't squeak it, which is fine by me! Sally the Seahorse love to dance.

And, finally...

• Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin Jr. An oldie, but goodie it seems that everyone knows this story. Lila likes to guess what's coming up next, she likes to label the colors and label the animals. This takes a book that might take 5 minutes to read about 15 minutes of entertaining reading and communication. Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see? I see a red bird looking at me.

Whatever books you choose, reading with your tiny tot while traveling can be loads of fun! What kinds of books do you like to read while traveling?

Six Word Saturday #1

My life in six words
"And, now my heart is full!"
~Now My Heart is Full, Morissey

Want to play along? All that's necessary to participate is to describe your life (or something) in a phrase using just six words. For more information, try clicking here. Feel free to explain or not explain. Add an image, a video, a song, nothing. The full list and linky can be found here. And, here's where I found it.

50 books in a Year: Book #7 Little Bee

          Last week during our Snow-cation I got a lot of nuthin' accomplished. Frankly, I needed the time to just read and talk and play with the tiny person while watching PBS Kids, it was refreshing. My friend Aimee (who does not have, but should create a blog--hint, oh, hint...) reads my blog and noticed that both my friend Michelle and I are doing the British book challenge and found just the book for us. She said, and I quote, "It's British, it's World, read it and tell me if we should teach it at the Senior level".

         I did not read it right away (you all know how long it takes me to read books that are recommended: see Demian), but told her I would have it done in time enough for her to order it, if it becomes the book they choose...although I didn't buy it, didn't download it and didn't know when I was going to get the time to...lalalala *whistles* and then my husband needed work boots and we had to make a trip to Springfield. He bought boots at Bass Pro and then we went to the used bookstore.

         Now, I want to talk a minute about my delicious obsession/love/amour for used bookstores. I love the smell of used bookstores, the feeling, the old carpeting and rugs and cats (the used bookstore in Mansfield has two) and the fact that the people who work at the store know where books are without looking in a computer and I love that even though you haven't visited a used bookstore in a while those people treat you like you came in yesterday. I especially love Hooked on Books, a bookstore I've been frequenting since I started college in 1994. I no longer had any book credit, but that didn't stop me from letting the tiny tot pick out two books (I put several children's books on the floor and let her choose the ones she wanted), Imogene's Antler's and Circus Counting, and I picked out two books for myself Dr. No and this book Little Bee.
          I started reading it almost immediately (having finished Forgive My Fins rather quickly) and am in love with the main character Little Bee and her story of perseverance and determination. I also like that it is a book set in London and surrounding areas and is about a history of the Nigerian people that I am only beginning to realize. Chris Cleave has also fully developed the psyche of a woman in the other main character (this is one of those books where one voice narrates a chapter and then the other voice narrates a chapter adding to the story) and her struggles in dealing with her family. I don't really want to give too much away, and, frankly, I'm still reading so I'm in the dark about a lot of what is going on...but I am enjoying the suspense and the character development and the language. Cleave really knows how to weave a sentence into telling us the most profound details. And, look at the cover...it's so beautiful that when I'm reading I have to hide the cover so Lila doesn't grab the book out of my hand as she is prone to do.
         I can tell this books is going to be one of those that stays with me forever. And, to think, I was apprehensive in reading this book because I thought it was going to be about another spelling bee or bee keeper!

Ps. Yesterday the blog received an award I posted about it last evening, but have added some recipents, I'm now up to 12!)

30 Day Song Challenge: Day Four

Day Four: A song that makes you sad

           A few days before Thanksgiving 2002 my Aunt Nesie passed away. I have never and I hope to never feel as lost and as sad as I did the month before and months after her death.
           I love my mother and I love my sisters, but in high school and beyond, my aunt and I had a special friendship. At least one weekend a month I went to her house in the back 40 (ie. Smallette, Missouri) and I would do laundry, pet her one million cats, hang out with my Uncle Wayne and get caught up on family and entertainment gossip.

          When the three of us were little, my aunts became our 2nd parent, buying us clothes when we needed them and taking us places when we had events to go to. One time I especially remember was when my mom and Aunt Nesie came to visit me at Missouri Scholars Academy. As my aunt liked to tell it, they had called to say that they couldn't afford to make it to Columbia to visit me, but when she tried to tell me they weren't going to come to visit, she could hear in my voice how I was trying to be strong, but my 15 year-old self was sad that my family wasn't going to visit on Family Day. So, my aunt and mom got that money for gas, brought home-made sandwiches and we went to Peace park and ate our sandwiches, she said that she'd never seen me happier.

           I will not forget the day that my aunt set me straight about my prejudice against people who didn't go to college. She said, "You know that I didn't go to college and I worked in a factory until I was 40, you don't think that I'm inferior because I didn't get a degree from some school." And, the truth was I didn't, she's one of the handful of people who I can proudly say is the foundation of who I am.

           We didn't know how serious her colon cancer was until close to the end. She played it off as such, until one day we saw one of those dumb Cancer Center of America commerical and she pulled out all the information from the one in Texas and said, "Do you think that I should go here?" She was always thinking of others. During her last months she made me make a budget (because she knew I was horrible with money) and made sure that I had all the family pictures on disk and all the music I wanted off of her computer.

           It was during one of these days and I was downloading country songs and in her raspy voice (the cancer had spread everywhere, including her throat) she told me about the Martina McBride song. "I have been blessed with more than I deserve," she said. Looking around the back bedroom of her trailer I didn't see anything that would make her feel that way, but she pointed out in the hall to Wayne in the living room, the cats outside and to me, and continued, "I have the best family in the world." I went to the bathroom to cry. From her, I learned that worldly possessions are just that...worldly.

           My aunt had about 20 too many cats. My aunt couldn't make an omlette, but her egg scramble was too die for...even if the eggs, green peppers, cheese and sausage tried it's hardest to be an omlette. My aunt didn't like to have her picture taken. I own only one video of her, from my nieces kindergarten graduation. She loved the country and would sit on the porch where I house-sat and just look into the field watching the goats and dogs and chickens feeling the sun and the wind. My aunt learned to quilt from her father. She also learned her temper from her father; you didn't mess with the lady. My aunt lived life to the fullest, my aunt never let me get down on myself and how poor we were or about the fact that we came from a single parent home, she knew that we had everything we needed. I miss her. 

           I know that she sees all that Lila Jane is doing and is probably shocked I have a daughter at all--I wasn't really into boys or family when she knew me. She said that us three girls were her daughters and that she couldn't have wished for better daughters. 

           So, I guess this song, "Blessed" by Martina McBride,  makes me sad for a minute and then I remember all of the life and love that came from this strawberry blonde woman and I know that it is because of her and her outlook on life that I have been blessed with more than I deserve.


Easter with the Joseph sisters and Aunt Nesie in good 'ole Mansfield, MO, 1985.



Feel free to join in by commenting below (I really do love comments, on fb or here), or doing this challenge on your own blog.

The 30 Day Song Challenge

Day 01 – Your favorite song
Day 02 -- Your least favorite song

Day 03 -- A song that makes you happy
Day 04 – A song that makes you sad
Day 05 – A song that reminds you of someone
Day 06 – A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 07 – A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 08 – A song that you know all the words to
Day 09 – A song that you can dance to
Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 11 – A song from your favorite band
Day 12 – A song from a band you hate
Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure
Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 15 – A song that describes you
Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate
Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio
Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Day 19 – A song from your favorite album
Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh
Day 26 – A song that you can play on an instrument
Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play
Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty
Day 29 – A song from your childhood
Day 30 – Your favorite song at this time last year

Trusting God with our kids

"But when she could hide him no longer, she got a papyrus basket for him and coated it with tar and pitch. Then she placed the child in it and put it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile."
~(NIV) Exodus 2.2-3

"Trusting God with Our Kids"
Parenting by Design

          I want to be a good mother when I grow up.
          I want my husband and I to be good parents.
          Teaching at a high school, I am bombarded with stories and, in some cases, blatant evidence of parents not being parents and children having to deal with the consequences of an adult's childish choice. I have also seen what happens when a parent is too involved in the lives of their children, for the sake of 'protection'...one of these helicopter parents even called me at my house after 10pm on my CELL PHONE (I, to this day, have no idea how she got that number) to talk about her kids' grade (her kid was making a hard-earned B-).
          As I think about Miss Lila Jane growing up, I do think about all of the things that she will experience without me and I wonder if she will make good choices. It is so cool and comforting to think about the fact that Moses' mother trusted that God would keep him safe in a basket made of reeds on the Nile River, she knew that whatever happened to him it would be in God's design...wow, what FAITH!
          My own mother has trusted that we would make the right choices, even if that meant no longer forcing me (and, boy she really did have to tackle some bull-headedness) to go to church, and when I wanted to go to church, letting me go to the church of my choosing--a church different than her own. She trusted all three of us girls to make good choices, even when we weren't and even when we don't. Now, I cannot tell a lie my mother hovers a little, still to this day (what good mother doesn't?), but I have no problem telling her to back off and I also listen to her even if I don't always do what she says. She taught me independence and strong-will when she left me in God's hands.



"...I can't handle it,
I just spend every minute running around and working
and thinking and I thought I would have help but
Sookie has Davey and Michel has Celine and I'm...
I can't do it all by myself!"



          I want my daughter to trust me and letting her make poor choices without guidance from me wouldn't build trust anymore than hovering does. I will not just let her walk all over me, I will let her know when she is doing something wrong, I will be a good parent who teaches what it means to be a good child and I will love her no matter what choices she makes.

          What will I do when my daughter wants to go to her first boy/girl party? Stays out past curfew (I didn't really have one, anyway) and doesn't call? Drives on the Interstate? Goes on vacation during college without telling me where she's going? I will take a deep breath, I will force myself not to be judgemental, I will teach her about the right choices, I will pray and I will remember that God saved Moses in the reeds on the Nile, He has her in His extremely capable hands.

          If you try to be the best parent you can be, you will fail (even Lorelai Gilmore--the coolest mom ever--struck out a time or two), but if you leave your kids with God, even when you fail He succeeds...even if that doesn't look like it at the moment.
          So, Lord I give The Tiny Person over to you...of course, when I'm being especially crazy about something she is doing or not doing, please, gently, reminded of the fact that You are way stronger than I and can take and will always take care of her. Amen.

Work-Life Balance at Its Best...

While I was on maternity leave I became the woman I secretly desired to be..."A Stay At Home Mom". I took 10 whole weeks of slow it down ‘bliss’. It was only when I started going back to school to teach the beginning of a unit, grade and import grades, give test or explain a concept that I realized that I didn’t really want to be a SAHM, I just wanted to make my own hours. J

I had a lovely routine going during this time, however, and it was this theme that afforded me the privilege of watching some day time television. It was during one of these days of getting up early, breast feeding, grading, breast feeding, “Today” show, feeding myself, 4^th hour or “Ellen” that I stumbled upon this delicious read, Just Let Me Lie Down: Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom.

Kristin van Ogtrop was on the “Today” show talking about her book and about how to simplify some aspect of your life if you have a busy life with kids and a husband and they’re always hungry and wanting something from you while your job is also hungry and wanting something from you…I don’t know what it was she wanted us to do… I just remember liking the title of her book, the way she laughed at herself and the feeling I had; the feeling that I was listening to a woman who could teach me a thing or two about work-life balance.

I bought, in hard cover, and read her book. She talked about being tired in a way that I was only beginning to understand, and about husbands who try, but just can’t sometimes (for all those clichéd reasons, and more reasons you realize are unique only to you and your family situation) and about families who help and hinder and for the first time I was beginning to relate to a woman who just years, heck months before, I perceived I would have had nothing in common.

Now, I’ve tried to read books about achieving a life balance,  Eat, Pray, Love comes to mind, that just didn’t cut it because they were too religious, or not religious enough, or too wishy washy or too exacting. It wasn’t that this book was teaching me how to have a life. It was and still is showing me how my life will be.

I’ve been sitting here trying to think about my favorite word she defined and I can’t come up with one (trying not to look at the book to search for a word), but I can tell you that I read it in a week, between ‘sleep[ing] when the baby sleeps’ and learned that, while my life is not unique and while the over the top gush I feel for this woman, van Ogtrop, is not original in any way, I am and will succeed at being a mother without turning into Chopin's dreadful 'mother-woman'.  I can tell you that I have taken many deep breathes, yelled at my husband when he doesn’t help and am unforgiving about the fact that sometimes he has to watch the kidlet while I grade, or go to a conference for a weekend or go to a meeting that last past 7pm. On the other hand, I feel no guilt about leaving a meeting early to pick up my kiddo at 4.30p, or about spending a whole weekend outside on the swing set not looking at a single essay that needs to be graded or lesson that needs to be written, or about being too tired to cook and vegging out, tiny tot in my lap as we watch Brian Williams and the husband cooks (after all he is faster at it and gets hungry first).

From the 1,691 word count introduction, she had me hooked. This book, silly as it is, has become one of the many books that are my foundation, without it, I’m not sure that I would have survived being a mother, a wife and a member of working society. I find it interesting that I have become that woman, I have become a ‘working mom’ and I'm not worried about being perfect at anything. I'll just work my best at all the facets of me.

The word I came up with after reading the book:

Tiny Person the person who has your ears, hair and toes, but your husbands’ eyes and nose. She makes you laugh just by being and your world…well it’s no longer your world, but hers, everything is hers…is aglow because of her laughter, her smile and her ability to mimic you in the most personal of ways. The person you’d quit your job for, the person who has taught you to breath and slow down. And, although this person is less than half your height and just now walking without looking like a drunk orangutan, she towers over you and commands you to the task at hand, the task of being ‘mommie’.

What’s your word and definition? It can be something totally made-up or a word that you’ve commandeered and made your own…