|Of course, I was raised by and have grown up |
with some pretty powerful and strong women
who have done it all without complaint.
"I would give up the unessential; I would give my money, I would give my life for my children, but I wouldn't give myself."And, truly "myself" belongs to me.
But, I digress.
Here's a link to the original post, some of it can be quite harsh, but, as she suggest in her follow up post (Is The Point of Having Kids Just to Not Be Lonely?) and as your preacher suggest every Sunday morning, if there's something that makes you feel guilt/upset/unhappiness/anger think about why it does. So, here's the link and the most controversial of the quotes with my two cents. I mean quotes not counting the already quite controversial and scathing title. Then after this are some responses with my two cents. Enjoy!?
|Me and my sisters|
- Every time I hear someone say that feminism is about validating every choice a woman makes I have to fight back vomit. I think it is about every choice a woman makes, but I understand what she is saying as there are women who blindly commit to what they feel is right without taking into account their own happiness. That has been the plight of women all along. The problem is that there are women who feel that women are incomplete UNTIL they get married and have kids, as if that's our only purpose (even God says otherwise) and there are some women that feel they have done something horrible if they SUCCUMB to marriage and kids. They feel their lives are meant for something more. There is no more, but there also is no less. If we are doing what we know to be right and we are not acting like martyrs about that fact. We are being strong females.
- Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself? "Equal footing" Yes. Better than? No. Less than? No.
- Having kids and getting married are considered life milestones. We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average. And here’s the thing, why on earth are we settling for average? Frankly, I said this very thing while I was pregnant, "Please don't make me have a Shower, anyone can get pregnant, let's not celebrate it." I know you might this ironic, but I'm actually a very private person. I don't need my personal accomplishments blasted all over for them to be accomplishments. I know they are and that's all that matters. I mean I got married in Vegas for pete sakes and am not upset that only a handful of people came. I didn't get married for people. I got married for me. Were the Average? I know that in the USA we seem to only think of things in black and white and if a woman is a successful person she must hate kids and family and if she's a stay at home mom (SAHM) she must not have any drive or life goals. Why can't we have both? I think the main thing is 'settling' I hope that no woman settles into having a career if she wants to be a SAHM and I hope that women are SAHMs by choice. Honestly, some women are so bitter or so pontificating in how happy they must be that I wonder. Don't forget 'choice' means you can change your mind.
- I want to have a shower for a woman when she backpacks on her own through Asia, gets a promotion, or lands a dream job not when she stays inside the box and does the house and kids thing which is the path of least resistance. Single Women Showers happen all the time. Women buy their own diamonds all the time. Throw a shower for your friend for any of these things. Ask me to plan it and I'll say "No." Ask me to attend and I probably won't, but my married friends can attest, I barely make it to weddings, showers et cetera ( I barely made it to my own--but that's a different story or two)...it's all equal in my eyes.
- You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids. Not true, it just means you never sleep. I miss sleep. However, I have chosen this life. To quote a former student and younger sister to a dear friend, "I do what I want." That means that sometimes I start writing a blog post at 5am or I read a book while the husband entertains (sometimes is forced to entertain) the kid in the living room. It means there are weeks when I'm not home because I have to get the magazine put to bed or I have to go to a conference. It means that most of the time the husband cooks dinner if he wants it before 7.30p (which is when I'd have it). It means that Saturday Work days with the journalism kids means I bring my kid. It means that when I work on Sunday afternoons I usually bring the kid. (Of course, all that means is that the husband 'gets' more free time than me, but I'm not hating, I would like it to be reciprocal, but at the same time I LOVE being around my kid, she's funny and smart and great to talk to). It's not selfish. We both have a kid. We both must be equally responsible about that. Equally. We both must give up some of our personal time as a sacrifice sometimes to the other and sometimes to the kid. It is a sacrifice. I don't have to be a martyr about it. It's what good parents (stay at home or otherwise) do. It's what I want to do. It's not only mothers who have this duality though. Single women play dual roles (I remember thinking I spent too much time at work and so on...), and so do men...um, I've never asked the husband if he wants me to take the kid everywhere I go, I just do because I want to because I'd miss her. Maybe he doesn't want to work on the car/drink beer/watch TV as much as I think he does. Maybe he misses her too.
- I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this. It’s because women secretly like to talk about how hard managing a household is so they don’t have to explain their lack of real accomplishments.
Me and the person I would give my life for.
- Women will be equal with men when we stop demanding that it be considered equally important to do housework and real work. Women will be equal with men when we value our work regardless of what it is. When we understand that we each have different roles and different ways we play out those roles. Candace Cameron Bure isn't entirely off her rocker. I'm a firm believer that when a man is fulfilling his role, than a woman can fulfill hers. When we work together to raise one another up, when we stop creating our own dividing line we can be a unified whole. Women are not less than when they are married or have kids. Women are not less than when they aren't in control of everything and men aren't less than when they listen to and understand and are sensitive to women. Neither are women.
True... Ms. Glass, some women choose to stay at home to raise a family because they feel their sacrifice to do so is important to them, not you.
True... Have you ever considered that for some women their “dream job” as you called in your blog is to raise a family? Who are you Ms. Glass to suggest that she is wrong to feel that way?
What??? I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest you are a liberal. I say this because some liberal females (not all) suggest this type of “feminism” to the extreme as if the many possibilities of a woman’s choice don’t exist.
Back to some loveliness... You know Ms. Glass, I have a friend who chose to remain single and owns her own business as a career, but her focus is not whether or not she remains single or decides to marry and start a family, but simply to do her best each day for herself and those who are important.
OK, fine... It’s called having mutual respect. You might want to try that philosophy sometime; it may just get you further in life.
|Surround yourself with|
strong women. That's what
I always say...
Again, I agree, but do we have to cut one woman (or, women who think like her) to elevate our point? Amy gets an A for writing some rage-bait, and an F for her opinion.