Here's what I thought would happen
1] I would go on my trip
2] I would read a lot...heck, I would catch up on all my reading on the plane and in the hotel room
3] I'd go to bed early
4] I'd sleep in
5] I'd take long baths
6] I'd watch TV
And, while some of those things happened in Vegas...I found they weren't nearly as fun as I wanted them to be. I've gotten used to...being interrupted during long baths or short showers and one can only watch so many "Law and Order" episodes uninterrupted before one gets scared of being in a hotel room alone. I know, I know...maybe I shouldn't have watched sooo many SVU episodes.
Anyway, I missed my kiddo. Heck, I missed Chris too, although he was there for all but the last two days, and we'd done some seen some awesome sites (such as the Hard Rock, the Hofbrauhaus, and Absinthe...all things we couldn't have accomplished with the kidlet with us)! And, although I went out with some ladies I met and we tagged around for lunch and dinner and such, I wanted to come home.
I was reminded of some of the terms (I'm only giving you the definitions, each one has a fun anecdote) Kristin van Ogtrop uses in her book, a book I go to for a laugh or cry when things feel a bit rough, Just Let Me Lie Down: Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom:
Absentee Parenthood: The state of being that sometimes defines your life and is by turns depressing and wonderful. There are wonderful things about being an absentee parent, namely taking business trips that involve staying in a hotel room all by yourself, or having vital work meetings that keep you from going on the field trip to the local recycling plant. ...There are depressing moments too...
Family-friendly living: The happy-sad reality that your family is actually much, much better off because you work. And we're not just talking about the money.
Guilt curve: The process by which your feelings of shame and inadequacy about being a working mom grow and then diminish. In my experience, the guilt curve is a bell curve, peaking when your first child reaches kindergarten, with a long tail that lasts until the day of your funeral.
Homeward bound: The powerful drive you feel to get back into your house at the end of the day. The drive is so powerful, in fact, that sometimes it makes you do things that are irrational or completely out of character.
Kill the messenger: The action you must take in order to forget about the office for a time--that is, to remove your BlackBerry/iPhone/Treo/whatever from your person and store it as far away as your neurotic self will allow...Any working mom worth her salt knows that it's the integrate-separate ratio between work and home that determines long-term working-motherhood success.Strangely, it's nice to have people to come home to, it makes me happy to know that I've reached that place in my life were 'having people to come home to' is something I cherish. And, while I feel like I can handle the duality of being a working mother, I really must figure out a way to be gone less next summer...or, take the kiddo with me!
I think I may like my family and I look forward to seeing them tomorrow...